trust

I am so sick of the feeling I have that I need to trust me at work with their lives, but I can't trust those who are freinds when I need it the most.  I don't know how to ask for help. I just seem to slide into self harm and have also become reclusive.  I go to work but not much outside of work.Trust is a double sided sword, I need to trust to get help, but I don't trust people enough to ask for what I need.