Toxic to myself

Well, he  never responded to my text.  Either he does truly hate me now, has blocked me from his phone or has deleted my number.  I realized I was toxic to myself and don't want to put anyone else thru it.  I have shut Jay off as well as Belinda and Sean.  Doug, dont really care if I talk to him or not.  He only wants wants wants and can never give for once.  I can't be around that anymore.  I care about him but lost any love feelings that I had for him.  They lie with Spanky right now.  Basically under his feet so he can step on them whenever he chooses.  She probably dances on my heart and diggs in how she is with him and how she is living with him and sleeping in bed with him every night.  I can't stand it! I wanted so much to be the girl that goes to bed with him every night and wakes up with him by my side.  I knew a few months ago that being next to him was right and how amazing the feeling was.  I knew that he was the one that I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with.  How do I get that back?  Is there ever a chance that he will take me back and love me like I love him?  Can I get rid of these demons circling my head and stabbing me every chance they get?  Where is my happy ending?