TOUGH TIMES

THINGS SEEM TO GET BETTER THEN NOT SO GOOD. I'M SAD THAT MY THERAPIST FOR THE LAST YEAR PLUS HAS RETIRED. I'M NERVOUS ABOUT STARTING OVER W/ A NEW ONE. IT'S SO HARD TO TALK TO A STRANGER. BUT I NEED THE HELP. I STILL GET SUICIDLE THOUGHTS. I HAVE A LOT OF PAST TO FIGURE OUT. MY WIFE IS TRYING SO HARD TO BE PATIENT WITH ME. BUT I AM MOODY AND NOT REAL TALKATIVE. WE HARDLY DO ANYTHING TOGETHER. SIT ON THE COUCH AT NIGHT AND FALL ASLEEP FLIPPING CHANNELS. BORING!!!!MONEY PROBLEMS ARE BAD. CONSTRUCTION IS SLOW. NEED SOME $ NOW. PEOPLE ARE VERY SLOW ON DECISION MAKING WITH THE ECONOMY AND PENDING ELECTION ETC. I THINK ABOUT MOVING AND STARTING OVER FRESH. BUT IT IS HARD TO START OVER AT 54. I'M REALLY TIRED. I GO IN A WEEK FROM NOW TO HAVE THE GROWTH ON MY KIDNEY RE CHECKED. IF IT IS NOT GROWING IT'S OK. IF IT IS STILL INCREASING IN SIZE THAT IS NOT GOOD. I HOPE THAT IT IS JUST A CYST. I WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN. I FEEL GRUMPY A LOT THOUGH. GOT MY BRAIN DAMAGED BROTHER N LAW STAYING HERE WITH HIS FIRST GRADE SON. THEY ARE A HANDFUL. THEY ARE WAITING TO GET INTO A SUBSIDIZED RENTAL. I HOPE IT'S SOON. THEY ARE A HANDFUL.DID I MENTION THEY ARE A HANDFUL??? WELL I LIKE TO HELP OUT BUT I CAN'T KEEP GIVING TILL IT HURTS CAUSE THE HURT GETS TO BE TOO MUCH. I JUST WANT SOME GOOD TIMES WITH MY WIFE!! I PRAY THAT THINGS GET BETTER SOON. I'LL KEEP TRYING.