Tough Day Today!

 cToday was a tough day.  I have been wanting to return the dialysis machine that's been in our home for 2 1/2 years and also the equipment from the VA.  These were on my "list of things to do".  Though I want all forms of medical crap out of my home I knew this would be tough.  Went to dialysis center to return machine and spoke with my husband's wonderful nurse.  She played such a big part in our lives these last few years and absolutely thought the world of my husband and he of her.  I will miss her, but we promised to stay in touch.   Then on to the VA. I knew they had volunteers there so I wouldn't have to see his wound care nurse or that staff.  But on the way out, our secretary's dad volunteers there on Wednesdays and he told me he was so sorry for my loss.  That started the water works again and I nearly had a panic attack just making it out of the parking lot. We spent way too much time there over these last few years, and though he received excellant treatment, at this point I don't even want to drive by there. Bright spot today was my sweet five year old grand daughter came over while mommy and daddy were working.  She is such a sweet compassionate child.  She told me last week that she misses Grandpa too, but now he can do anything he wants.  He doesn't need a walker, a wheelchair his cane and has his foot back.  And she knows he can fly!! Dear God how my husband loved this child. She is our first grandchild, our other one lives an hour and a half away. So we try to see her too as often as possible.  In fact I am going Friday with this one  to stay with  our other grand child for the weekend.  Will be nice to give and receive lots of hugs and kisses.  So at two this morning, I marked another item off my list.  I finally finished all my thank you cards.  Yay  and tomorrow am having lunch with my Beautiful neice.  Hopefully we can find a spot away from people as it still doesn't take much to bring me to tears.  Thank you to all who have reached out to me thru this agony.  Bless you all!