Tough day
I'm not sure why today was so tough, but it was. I felt beyond crying; more like I was going to throw up, it hurt so much. I went to meeting in town this morning that I had to chair. It was a good one and went well. Friends asked me to lunch but I didn't go. Restaurant meals are expensive and I'm not crazy about the food. I went home and talked to the neighbors. It was very pleasent. My next door neighbor is quite ill, I guess I don't have all the problems. Then I spoke to a friend on the phone. I could have gone to a free concert tonight or the movies but I opted to stay home and putter in the yard.
I think part of the problem was that the weather was beautiful. We had planned on retiring together in June and I had envisioned the two of us enjoying perfect days like today. Also, another friend died last week. I really thought I was through the worst pain, but I guess not. I have to remember that I'm one day closer to seeing him again and that I can find things to do. I have a neighbor to help, a friend who has dementia and a ninety+ FIL who needs help. Stoill, I'd like to do something fun, but I can't think what that would be. I feel flat a lot. I went off antidepressents after 3 months although I had a much longer prescription, because I didn't want to just temporarily mute the feelings. I don't know. I have it all; a decent place to live, neighbors, friends, dogs, cats, job next fall part time and a small pension. Surely I should be able to reach a better state of mind eventually.
I'm only at 6 and a half months, please, let it get better!
I'm grateful for:
weather
dogs
meetings
food
bills pretty much paid
books
yard work
have God in my life
have my darling's presense in my life
step and grand kids
in-laws
family
birds
"stuff" (some of it, anyway!)
I think part of the problem was that the weather was beautiful. We had planned on retiring together in June and I had envisioned the two of us enjoying perfect days like today. Also, another friend died last week. I really thought I was through the worst pain, but I guess not. I have to remember that I'm one day closer to seeing him again and that I can find things to do. I have a neighbor to help, a friend who has dementia and a ninety+ FIL who needs help. Stoill, I'd like to do something fun, but I can't think what that would be. I feel flat a lot. I went off antidepressents after 3 months although I had a much longer prescription, because I didn't want to just temporarily mute the feelings. I don't know. I have it all; a decent place to live, neighbors, friends, dogs, cats, job next fall part time and a small pension. Surely I should be able to reach a better state of mind eventually.
I'm only at 6 and a half months, please, let it get better!
I'm grateful for:
weather
dogs
meetings
food
bills pretty much paid
books
yard work
have God in my life
have my darling's presense in my life
step and grand kids
in-laws
family
birds
"stuff" (some of it, anyway!)
Replies
I understand. Life does seem flat especially without the one we love by our side. I hit my 7 month mark on the 23rd and I feel about the same. Some days are awful and some seem okay, but none seem wonderful. Life will get better eventually, I hope. We just have to keep being thankful for what we have and keep going forward. I like that you are counting your blessings. Hugs today, dawn
Thank you both. You don\'t realize but I am a big fan of both of you. What you have to say means a lot.
My husband and I had just retired one month before he got sick so I understand. We work all of our lives planning for this time and it is taken away from us. Everything we do or could do doesn`t measure up to what we would be doing with our husbands. I hope and pray that we will carve a new path for ourselves with some joy in our future. Sending you hugs, Lu Ann
Thanks, lovelos. I am going to try a lot of new things. I\'ve already started with sacred harp singing. This is my chance to have adventures! I appreciate your wise counsel. I am sending you love.