Total Regression BUT Never Down Or Out
Well, what can I say, it's happened. I've regressed abt as far back as I can go. I'm pretty much back to where I was when Lupus 1st errupted & I was in the rehab for a couple months, pretty much but I like to think not totally that far - so there devil man!!
Since my lupus rash think went wacko I've been on prednisone & will continue with this for a while. Plaquenil will also stay. BUT DARN IT ALL I'll be going back on a wkly injection of Methetrexate. Folic Acid is being thrown into the mix to help counter bad affects from whichever of these drugs (can't remember).
A thing with me is my sensitive stomach to drug overload. It rebels pretty fast most of the time. So he's adding something called Losec to help the tummy issues. I guess cause I told him I was going to stop eating cause it's way too hard right now.
My last glitch in this ugly picture is my questionable bone density & we all know what prednisone can do in that dept. We're going to see abt a treatment that I'll go for just once a yr. It's done on an outpatient day thing & it's given by IV. I have to check & see if I'll have coverage for it.
I'm very very frustrated & other emtions I won't mention cause part of me says darn it I've worked so many yrs to get to this super place & whamo, all gone, back to square 1, literally. I fully know that the Lord knows how our life's plan is to go & we shouldn't really question his wisdom but I'm having moments when that nasty devil man is making me really wonder why, how can this benefit me. I can't see that far. Does this make sense to anyone?????
I'll see him again in a month & that will be the crucial appt as positive results will need to be seen in order to avoid THE CHEMO MONSTER!!!!
One thing I'm going to have to remind myself is that my sister & her depression & my somewhat dysfunctional family are as of today taking second place cause I think "me" has to come 1st for a while.
I so hate to unload like this as I know my dear friends here have their own battles they're fighting & I'm used to being a fighter and cheerleader for you, SO, rest assured I'm still always near if & when anyone needs me. No one counts me out that fast!!!!
I think I need some serious prayer and journal writing time in the privacy of my room later this afternoon. Gonna regroup & meditate also I think. AND THEN OF COURSE COME OUT FIGHTING - RIGHT LOL!!!!
Since my lupus rash think went wacko I've been on prednisone & will continue with this for a while. Plaquenil will also stay. BUT DARN IT ALL I'll be going back on a wkly injection of Methetrexate. Folic Acid is being thrown into the mix to help counter bad affects from whichever of these drugs (can't remember).
A thing with me is my sensitive stomach to drug overload. It rebels pretty fast most of the time. So he's adding something called Losec to help the tummy issues. I guess cause I told him I was going to stop eating cause it's way too hard right now.
My last glitch in this ugly picture is my questionable bone density & we all know what prednisone can do in that dept. We're going to see abt a treatment that I'll go for just once a yr. It's done on an outpatient day thing & it's given by IV. I have to check & see if I'll have coverage for it.
I'm very very frustrated & other emtions I won't mention cause part of me says darn it I've worked so many yrs to get to this super place & whamo, all gone, back to square 1, literally. I fully know that the Lord knows how our life's plan is to go & we shouldn't really question his wisdom but I'm having moments when that nasty devil man is making me really wonder why, how can this benefit me. I can't see that far. Does this make sense to anyone?????
I'll see him again in a month & that will be the crucial appt as positive results will need to be seen in order to avoid THE CHEMO MONSTER!!!!
One thing I'm going to have to remind myself is that my sister & her depression & my somewhat dysfunctional family are as of today taking second place cause I think "me" has to come 1st for a while.
I so hate to unload like this as I know my dear friends here have their own battles they're fighting & I'm used to being a fighter and cheerleader for you, SO, rest assured I'm still always near if & when anyone needs me. No one counts me out that fast!!!!
I think I need some serious prayer and journal writing time in the privacy of my room later this afternoon. Gonna regroup & meditate also I think. AND THEN OF COURSE COME OUT FIGHTING - RIGHT LOL!!!!
Replies