Tossed

Yet another body of research tossed to the circular file. The Surname Family heads are "simplifying." Hubs hasn't officially tossed my research yet, but he is exucting, line by simple line from the other side of a business-as-usual line I have no access to. Subtle reminders are coming down the driveway that I just a tenant. Again. No access to the dialog on the other side of the tinted caddilac windows.

I recognized this well-established Surname Family precedent when I began this "project" back in October and have been plying psych tools to make room for ^it^ while taking the leap of faith that change is possible. Change has, indeed, happened, but not in this portion. This acreage is to remain a line item in the silver platter jungle. The non-family experts will handle the details of maintaining that line item. So be it. I am disappointed but not devastated. Business as usual.

The caddy flashbacks seem to have stopped yesterday when the S.O. showed up to add a physical presence to the echoes of isolation. She is also an emotional orphan, in search of a place to belong and our dialog was quite grounding. Good medicine. She brought her ukulele. We have been treating this Surname Investment line item like a State Park. As we said in the Army enlisted ranks while the brass played their hurry up and wait games, "Carpe diem while the muckety mucks rake the muck."

Onward through the fringes.