TOO POOPED TO POP!
After 4 days of complete & total EXHAUSTION, I finally had to declare a day of rest and not do a single thing (except that fasting blood test this morning). Day one I was thinking - "Just having a "tired" day." Day two I was thinking - "It's the all the house cleaning & final wrapping before tomorrow's celebration #1 - Christmas with the girls and partners/grandkiddos, since our eldest will be in Mexico for Christmas this year." But, I NEVER fall asleep in the car while my hubby is driving. Oh well - if he wrecks while we are out running out of town for a quick errand - I just don't care. I simply could not keep my eyes open. (Amazingly, no back seat driver required! LOL) Day three I was thinking - "What the heck is going on? PLEASE - not today. I want to enjoy this day with our family!" Day four (today) I finally cried, "Uncle!" and took myself back to bed for a "nap".
The plan was a day of rest will put me back on my feet as I make the final push towards Christmas Day. Just a few Christmas letters to write a personal note on, quite a few presents to wrap, and maybe one small gift to purchase for our three grandsons. Celebrations #2 (with our close friends) & #3 (with youngest daughter & her family) are going to be more low key. Oh - and will need to work in a gift wrapping session with the grandsons within the next three days for those presents they picked out for Mom, Dad, and Baby last week (Two 5 yr olds and a 7 yr old shopping in Walmart....quite the adventure - especially when they started fighting over what to get! LOL). Hopefully we can make white chocolate pretzel rods for Grandpa the same night, too. (Visitation schedules will mean they are gone until the day after Christmas this year.)
Always known as "the one that LOVES Christmas", trying to keep up with a good part of all I have done in the past has just zapped me, I think. I've written a "Master Plan", write out weekly "to do" lists, write out daily "to do" lists....all in an effort to hang on to what I consider necessary during the Christmas season. I have put aside paperwork and anything else that can wait until after Christmas. Yet - I have fallen asleep while wrapping presents, fallen asleep if I sit down after I have done all can do that day, and fallen asleep while ordering items online.
I have ADAPTED and given up on so many things in my life already as I adjust to the reality of living with PD. It breaks my heart to give up on Christmas as I've come to expect it!!! I REALLY worked hard to plan ahead & do everything I could to keep my health from impacting our Christmas season - and, I suppose I am the one most impacted - though there were many other things I wanted to do, I don't think others noticed.
Right now I am feeling guilty & sad....not at all how I want to feel! BUT - tomorrow is a new day & I will get back at it - with my new Celtic Christmas CD playing softly in the background....
The plan was a day of rest will put me back on my feet as I make the final push towards Christmas Day. Just a few Christmas letters to write a personal note on, quite a few presents to wrap, and maybe one small gift to purchase for our three grandsons. Celebrations #2 (with our close friends) & #3 (with youngest daughter & her family) are going to be more low key. Oh - and will need to work in a gift wrapping session with the grandsons within the next three days for those presents they picked out for Mom, Dad, and Baby last week (Two 5 yr olds and a 7 yr old shopping in Walmart....quite the adventure - especially when they started fighting over what to get! LOL). Hopefully we can make white chocolate pretzel rods for Grandpa the same night, too. (Visitation schedules will mean they are gone until the day after Christmas this year.)
Always known as "the one that LOVES Christmas", trying to keep up with a good part of all I have done in the past has just zapped me, I think. I've written a "Master Plan", write out weekly "to do" lists, write out daily "to do" lists....all in an effort to hang on to what I consider necessary during the Christmas season. I have put aside paperwork and anything else that can wait until after Christmas. Yet - I have fallen asleep while wrapping presents, fallen asleep if I sit down after I have done all can do that day, and fallen asleep while ordering items online.
I have ADAPTED and given up on so many things in my life already as I adjust to the reality of living with PD. It breaks my heart to give up on Christmas as I've come to expect it!!! I REALLY worked hard to plan ahead & do everything I could to keep my health from impacting our Christmas season - and, I suppose I am the one most impacted - though there were many other things I wanted to do, I don't think others noticed.
Right now I am feeling guilty & sad....not at all how I want to feel! BUT - tomorrow is a new day & I will get back at it - with my new Celtic Christmas CD playing softly in the background....
Replies
Tomorrow IS a new day! Rest and relax and enjoy the Christmas music today & enjoy the memories of celebration #1 while you are at it! I am sending you a big hug. And when my arms are finished hugging you, they are taking your guilt and your sadness with them and all you will have left is Christmas joy! :) (If only it were so easy - right?)
You braved Walmart with a 5 year old and a 7 year old??? What were you thinking girl? lol I have been reading articles on simplifying Christmas. As much as I want to keep things the same, I am realizing more and more that simple is the way I have to go these days. So more and more, I am turning the reigns over to the my adult children and enjoying their versions of Christmas. Strangely It\'s bothering Hubby more than me, it seems :( Oh well - he will get use to it! They actually do a really good job at it - and most of them have even kept many of our traditions alive.
OK - here is my big HUG!!! There - now I am leaving with the guilt and the sadness and finding a big trash can to throw them away! Have a very Merry and Joyous Christmas!
YOUR HUG WORKED! (Added to a day of rest without CHRISTMAS being the push yesterday.)
Back on my feet. Woke up with my usual \"It\'s a new day....what does God need me to do for him?\" attitude.
Finished ALL my cards/letters and they are outside waiting for out postman to pick them up. Showered, dressed, laundry sorted with first load going, will soon head out for quick errands, and return to wrap presents (I am going to set a \"quitting time\" & work on more tomorrow.)
Have a date with the two 5 yr olds & 7 yr old grandsons set for tomorrow night to wrap their presents, eat dinner together, and possibly make those chocolate pretzels (they can even wait until after Christmas - if need be). VERY EXCITED to let their energy & excitement fill our home!!!
I feel bad about my entry in one way because it\'s a \"downer\", but in another way I feel strongly that we share the good & the bad. Sooooo....today it\'s all good and I\'m off & moving (would say running - but that is something I just cannot do at this point).
I am glad your feeling better today! I agree that we should share the good & the bad! I for one appreciate you keeping it real cause we all have the bad with the good. It helps me to see that I am not the only one who struggles sometimes. Enjoy your day today and your time with the kids tomorrow.