Too Needy...
Once again, when left alone with noone to talk to, confide in I realize I am far too needy. I am again in my funk...feeling forgotten and alone. Wishing desperately that I was lucky enough to find someone special to open up and share all with. I did find someone who was there for me with encouragement , support and much more. Lately though, he has stepped back and I am determined to not keep reaching out to bother him.
Is ironic when I need someone the most, he is nowwhere to be found. The thing is, if I just sent a text he would be there to respond. But I don't want him....or anyone ....to respond out of simple kindness or feeling of duty.
I am feeling incredibly alone again.
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I’m sorry you feeling like that, being alone is real hard at times, I’m in that situation a lot myself , keep your head up and anytime, you need someone to talk to message me :)
hugs my friend. I know the feeling. Message me and I will answer as soon as I can.
I too feel alone a lot. That’s why I like Xanax. It makes me so sleepy so I can just go to bed. I do really well all day at work because I feel appreciated & needed when I’m there Being home with husband is a different feeling. I totally get being with someone but feeling alone. I also try to not text my special friend too much either. I don’t want to turn him off with my neediness. Although he’s told me we can talk anytime. But remember you’re never really alone. From the other posts I can see you have a lot of support in this group. It’s really therapeutic to be able to journal our feelings here.
Be strong girl....my ❤️ Goes out to you!!
I was thinking of you just yesterday! Feeling abit lonely myself and wanting, like you do, just someone to depend on to be there. Take care and know you are not ever forgotten by your real friends.
Thank you all.
Loneliness can creep in and can take over like an insidious disease. Fear too. Weird how they both like to take hold of our lives and rule our thoughts and our feelings. I'm right there with you. In these times we forget that we are magnificent creations of vibrating cells constantly bombarding other cells to produce vibrant energy. Exciting stuff, yes?? So if we know that this incredible system is at work in us then why are we so stinkin listless and depressed, or in my case, joyless and loveless. Yes, I'm lonely too, but the disappearance of joy and love in my life is the scarier part. Did I really have it to begin with? After all, isn't love eternal? How did mine die? Another scary part. I wish I had answers. All I know is I wish like you do that I had someone dependable, someone to fully trust, to be there. And all I have at the moment is this forum which amazes me with how many hurting people are out there willing to share and help others even thought they are hurting. And that does indeed include you, veggiequeen! I count you as a blessing.
@ LifeLover ...I do believe God's love is eternal. Some of us humans....not so much. Because of all I have been through and what i have observed to cripple and rob so many of their on chances to find love, acceptance...even their own self esteem, I try very hard to love unconditionally. (That is why I do turn quicker to children and animals. They are helpless, defenseless.. but so eager to open up and love you. Imho, the world would be a better place if we could do that too.)
That being said, I am human. I think of stbx and myself. I took the vows (In hindsight, it may have been in part at the urging of family who said....you may never find another chance..... and wind up alone) Is actually funny because both families are screwed up and unhappy as well. (I had a good friend who actually cared enough to ask if I was sure I wasn't doing just that. and said not to simply settle) I do still care and have concern for him...still love and wish him well, but after all the years of me giving all and his behavior and reactions now...the resentment and anger has caused a deep wedge. ...for both of us.
For me.... I feel like I am on a roller coaster. There are days and moments when I am feeling very optimistic (even with all in front of me). I think of having my own small space to myself. A place i can invite friends or simply chill by myself. . I think of joining a small support group of divorced people also alone and struggling. When I did check, there were not any close.....but they were looking for others to help organize and start a local meetup. Even considered that.
Then there are the other moments like what i am just coming out of. Where friends do step back (understandable as we all have lives....)There are moments when I get sucked back in ... feeling like I should not bother others and handle things myself. Listening to negative hurtful words from long ago.... and a few recent. I do believe my lesson from all this is to reach out when I want to retreat. I truly believe that i have found a lot of strength , courage and support from others on here...and for that....I CAN'T THANK YOU ALL ENOUGH.