Too much crazy
There are so many crazy things going on in my life right now its well crazy. My husband and I are both recovering alcoholics, he hasnt had a drink in a little over a year. I had a slip three days ago. I have anxiety and depression and a long list of other medical conditions that require medication. My dr. just put me on a rx to help with the craving for alcohol but I still have to go get it, he called it in yesterday. My husband and I have been together 17 years. He is manipualtive, verbally and mentally abusive. He talks to me like I am one of the kids, he makes me feel stupid by repeating things over and over even though I already told him I understand what he is saying and then he says he was just trying to help and says I am too sensitive, that there is something wrong with me that I get upset. That I am not normal. The other night he told me I was selfish and I dont care about anyone but myself. I never do anything to show him I love him. He had surgery on april 24, I waited on him hand and foot for 3 weeks and I am still doing things for him to make sure he isnt lifting too much. He got so mad because I wouldnt get out of bed to clean out the bathroom closet that he picked up one side of the mattress and then let it fall and said if I did not get up and clean the closet out he was going to tear the whole house apart and I was going to have to call 911 he promised. I told him to stop threatening me. Then next morning when he apologized I asked why he had to threaten me, he acted like what he did wasnt a big deal and that I was making it sound worse than it was. He said it wasnt a threat. I asked him what he would call it, and he said you know I wouldnt hurt you. Right because he never has? Yesterday I was folding laundry and he walked by and kicked me in the butt (playfully he says) but it was hard to me and it hurt. I asked why he did that and he got all mad and said there was something wrong with me that I dont know how to have fun and play around. Everytime he does something he finds a way to make it like I am crazy and I am over reacting to something. I just do not want to go on like this but I never have the strength to leave and stay gone.
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I'm so sorry to hear you are having to deal with this... forgive me for saying this, but your husband sounds like a waste of space. Correction: a sociopathic waste of space. I know leaving him is a hard thing to do, but it doesn't seem as though he offers any support, stability or encouragement; quite the opposite, in fact. For your own sake, leaving sounds like leaving for good would be a vital part of your own well-being (and safety!). Are there any friends or family you could stay with? Also, if you are seeing a counselor or a licensed professional, you might want to consider telling them about this; they are required to report this kind of thing if they deem it as a threat to you. Sorry, I probably sound like I'm ordering you around lol not my intent, I promise! This kind of thing just really angers me, and no one deserves it... including you :-)
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your concern. I do see a licensed professional and we have gone together and I have told her how he is but there is no physical abuse anymore so I guess she doesnt feel like it needs to be reported. She keeps telling me to try to change the way I react to him. Like I cant change him so maybe if I could change how it affects me we could get along. The problem is the things he says and does hurts. Then I think is he manipulating me to make me think I am being too sensitive or am I just being too sensitive? Idk
You're not being too sensitive. He is abusing you and even worse gas lighting you. Making you question your own mind! I know exactly because I lived through the same thing for 20 years. I was the alcoholic, he was codependent, also a narcissist. Mental abuse is in a way far worse than physical because like you said there are no physical marks but you are being tortured mentally. If your therapist doesn't address that issue find another one. My EX was afraid of losing me and tried manipulating me and verbally abusing me. I had to leave or I would have hurt myself. Trust yourself more your gut instincts knows, trust it. Wish you the best.
Sagacioussusan thank you so much. I do question myself all the time! That is one of my biggest problems is that because I know he has manipulated me for so long I cant tell if he is still manipulating me or if I am imagining it. It feel very good to hear validation. Thanks so much.
Coming from a guy, his actions are totally appauling and make me sick to even think a guy is capible of doing that. On behalf of good guys everywhere let me appologize you have to endure that bullshit. Leaving him and finding a new life with someone deserving to have you would be ideal. You have helped me so much to calm my anxieties and taught me so much just by what youve told me. I can honestly say when you find a new suiter to be your next guy, he is going to be one lucky guy. I wish you luck. Keep us all posted.