Tonight I am sad
I got stuck at work late tonight. We couldn't figure out why our credit cards were .20 off (yes, just 20 cents!) and we can't leave until everything balances. I was supposed to get off at 5, we closed at 6, but here it was 6:20 and I'm still there (ahhh the joys of being manager--it's like being paid to be a mom of adult children sometimes!) My cell phone rings and I see it's him. I figure he is just going to be playing 20 questions about where I am, but when I answer I can barely understand him. He asks if I am still at work, tells me I am going to be stuck in traffic for a while due to an accident. I groan and ask where--he tells me, then I he gets really quiet and I think he keeps saying "F***". I say, "are you okay?" He says "No, he's dead!" I think he means he has run someone over or something. I say "who" He says "Kevin--I have to go."
This is his cousin who is more like a brother to him. This is one of only two individuals in his family that has ever been allowed to our house; every other "friend" and family member is too much of a threat I guess. They spend literally every weekend together, working on cars, going to the track, just hanging out. They grew up together all the time. I am pretty broken up also because he is also like my family--after all, he's been a part of my life for the past 17 years. But, I can not imagine how he is going to handle this. He called me as I was sitting in the traffic caused by the accident that resulted in his death and told me he was going to Kevin's parents house. He doesn't sound too upset, just really tired, but I have never seen this man break down before, not even when his father died. I'm not sure, but I'm thinking this is going to be much worse. I feel so bad for him; for my children, who at their young ages have lost another close family member; for his parents, his children, the rest of the family. But most of all, I'm sad that the kids and I are sitting here like we don't matter, while he is with his family at this terrible time. Is that selfish?
This is his cousin who is more like a brother to him. This is one of only two individuals in his family that has ever been allowed to our house; every other "friend" and family member is too much of a threat I guess. They spend literally every weekend together, working on cars, going to the track, just hanging out. They grew up together all the time. I am pretty broken up also because he is also like my family--after all, he's been a part of my life for the past 17 years. But, I can not imagine how he is going to handle this. He called me as I was sitting in the traffic caused by the accident that resulted in his death and told me he was going to Kevin's parents house. He doesn't sound too upset, just really tired, but I have never seen this man break down before, not even when his father died. I'm not sure, but I'm thinking this is going to be much worse. I feel so bad for him; for my children, who at their young ages have lost another close family member; for his parents, his children, the rest of the family. But most of all, I'm sad that the kids and I are sitting here like we don't matter, while he is with his family at this terrible time. Is that selfish?
Replies