Tomorrow Brad would have been 50-a ok.
tomorrow is2/18 and it woul d have been brads 50 th birthday.He is not here to help me celebrate and in fact this is the first birthday without him.Brad was strange when it came to holidays and such.He never celebrated them.I notice this the first time i saw him and I tried to make things nice for him.Brad and i never exchanged xmas gifts at all.He just was this way.He was just in so much pain and once a border line personality like Brad is in pain...the whole house suffers and i am suffering as well.I was asked the other day...do I believe in God..Well,,,here is my answer.I dont believe that a God of love and understanding so they claim would allow human suffering nor pain.I believe that sometimes things happen for the best and happen for the worse.Sometimes a person is in the wrong place at the wrong time and this has been repeated in the media.I will give you an example.There was a girl whom I will call Tina who drove him on a rainy afternoon.She never read the papers nor did she listen to the radio or tv.She just wanted to shop and have a good time.One day,there was construction work in her town.She did not know this.She came home and skidded the car and it went into a ravine.Noone knew where she was.She was trapped in her car for one week.Now I am not saying she was the cause of this..but dont you think if she knew of the construction that this accident could have been avoided? How many things in life could have been avoided only if people have been aware and listened? How many lives could have been saved? How many people ? So when I say be aware of your surroundings...this is what I mean.If you dont like to read,or watch tv....how are you going to react when something goes wrong? Brad always reacted at the circumstances which could have been prevented and then he yelled at me......Dont react if the story is in the paper and you purposely do down a street that the workers are working on when they told the people not to.Brad was in an car accident also.Tina now regrets this.Her car is totalled.SHe cant afford to buy another car and she doesnt have good car insurance.Now she is forced to take the bus like Brad had to and she is always complaining.But if her and Brad listened to the reports....everything like I said could have been avoided and brad would still be here.So if you dont read the paper,you dont know what is going on and circumstances erupt...dont blame the workers.Blame yourself.Just because there is negative in the news....doesnt mean it will stop.Lets stop this Pollyanna effect where people just want to hear about "nice things" and refuse to acknowledge the bad...like Brad......................................and if I hear "get over it" again..I will scream like The Wolfman.I dont believe in vampires.I dont believe in werewolves.I dont believe in Fredo and I dont believe in fantasy.