Tomato time

     I have been quite busy this last week, and it has ran me down and exhausted me. My husband and I got the cabbage shredded and in fermenting for saurkraut, and a 5 gallon bucket of pickles is fermenting away now. The onions were ready so I just finished processing them and putting them away, same for the potatoes. Now the tomatoes and hot peppers/sweet peppers are ready and real canning begins. I have so far managed to dry, ferment, freeze etc what comes out of the garden and not have to deal with major canning as of yet. Now we will be making spaghetti sauce, tomato sauce, salsa, marinara sauce, etc with all those yummy tomatoes. However, I have no idea how I am going to keep up. With both girls and my husband helping we will get through it but it is exhausting me, and sleeping is becoming difficult as the pain beats at my tired body. My right hand is really acting up, and I lost most use of the left after stopping taking neurontin. The nerve pain is so strong it is easier just not to use the arm. Kind of a nasty cycle- pain makes it hard to use the arm, don't use the arm makes the pain worse, round and round we go. Also don't use the arm- right arm gets worse. I am in braces for both arms now when working. My feet are no longer swollen as badly, but still hurt a lot, and I limp alot. Atleast they look like feet again, and not red and blue watermelons! I sit for 45 minutes, work for 15, down again, up again. Only thing getting all this slowly done is my determination to do it. It would be so easy to just give life up! But I've always known life wasn't easy and you have to fight for the things you want in life, this is no different.  On Monday, we got a startling call from my attorney. He had taken a comment of mine that I just wanted the litigation all over with so we would know what we need to do in the future, and offered mitigation with the insurance attorney. They accepted and then he told me. I freaked out, I didn't know how I could put an amount on what might happen in the future! I definitely care more about getting good medical care than about the money, so this really through me into way upset. My pain started to skyrocket, and I managed to communicate clearly and not nastily with my attorney about the whole mess. Took all week to work out, up to the day before the hearing was scheduled, still haven't heard when we are supposed to do this. Well, on Monday my husband threw me and all the camping supplies in the car and we ran away for 2 nights/three days at a nice lake campground. It worked to calm me down, give me time to think without the attorney calling ( no cell phone, so NO PHONE :)  ) but since it was the first time I had gone camping since surgery we learned some hard truths. I can't get up hardly at all from a air mattress in a tent, uneven ground makes my feet worse, and I had difficulties keeping up the food area like I used to. Both hands swelled up big time from trying to get off the air matress, so it's taken 4 days for me to feel better, and attempt typing here. I am still trying to recover from camping, the house looks like a tornato brought camping supplies and tossed it into the house. The garden is in major production, I am also planting carrots and cabbage for a fall crop, soon spinach and lettuce as well. The garden has really helped to keep the food bill down some, as has buying a cow once a year and filling the freezer. Somehow, we are getting through all of this, and really doing quite well. How long it can last without my income I don't know, but something always happens to keep things going...and if it doesn't there is always bankruptcy. Sigh, we are hoping to avoid that one. I decided I would not use my horse gear ever again, and even though I had tried to sell my saddles, bridles etc before with no luck- found offering barter is working great. I now have a lady intrested in one of my saddles and offering corn and more tomatoes along with all the jars to go with the produce. Sigh, all I have to do is fill them! But this should help this winter too, with the food, and atleast I will know we will eat well if nothing else...I found it a good solution to having something no one can afford to buy right now! Well- there are tomatoes calling me name- they need skinned and processed into canned whole tomates...and batches of salsa my daughter is dying to make and try. I will try to come on during the nights, but honestly right now I am pretty busy and by the time 8 pm roles around all I want to do is sit in the spa then go to bed. I will have to see if there is something else to be used besides neurontin for my nerves, the pain killers don't help, and I don't know how long I will go with this kind of pain in my arm/shoulder/neck and head before going crazy...maybe never, maybe next week. Sometimes I just wish they could amputate the damn thing and be done with it! But that would just make things worse, or so the doctors tell me. I definitely now understand how an animal can chew off a leg in a trap, or a tail badly damaged...I get it but wish I had been left not knowing that particular truth.