Told my Mom
So after I came out to my friend, I made the resolution that I would quit scouts. My parents have wanted me to get eagle since 1st grade, so I knew this would be difficult. My parents have both been really busy with work lately, so I managed to not go to the last two weekly meetings without anyone noticing. But yesterday my mom came home and asked if I was going. I said I wasn't. She asked me why I kept missing meetings considering I recently missed an important deadline to getting Eagle.
I tried so say that I wasn't really concerned with getting eagle anymore since i wouldn't be able to get in time for it to matter to colleges, scholarships, ect. She was yelling, saying 'Dont quit. You will always regret it. your father still regrets it."
Ive been trying to tell her for a month now. But I can never bring it up. With the friends i've told, ive had to force myself into situations where I have to tell them. And its a lot easier to come out to friends. So I thought "F*** it, im not going to get a better chance than this."
So I told her "There is another reason I want to quit to." And she said "What?" in this painful, disappointed tone ive heard a million times before. I dont know how long I sat there trying to force it out, but it felt like minutes. Really tense and long minutes.
"I'm gay."
So she sat down and we talked. She asked me how do you know, who do I like, ect. And i ran into the same problem with all of my friends, its just so difficult to explain. She said she loves me, no matter what. But she doesnt fully believe me. She thinks its just a ruse so i dont have to pursue Eagle, and that im just being lazy. Shes expecting me to essentially stay in the closet for another three months just so I can get an award I no longer need or care about. I have a reputation with her for lying to get out of crap, so I guess I deserve it. I think most of my anxiety about coming out didn't come from them disapproving of gays or anything, but their disapproval of almost anything below their expectations.
I think the news sunk in more today, she's hugged me every chance she gets, is acting all emotional. Ill link her to pflag or something, ill have a real talk with her eventually, but it feels so strange right now. Not having to hide anything.
And thats it, I imagine shes going to tell my dad, and my brother will probably find out at school at some point. But everythings going good, my minds clear for the first time in a while, and i just feel...not so trapped. I feel awkward, but not trapped
I tried so say that I wasn't really concerned with getting eagle anymore since i wouldn't be able to get in time for it to matter to colleges, scholarships, ect. She was yelling, saying 'Dont quit. You will always regret it. your father still regrets it."
Ive been trying to tell her for a month now. But I can never bring it up. With the friends i've told, ive had to force myself into situations where I have to tell them. And its a lot easier to come out to friends. So I thought "F*** it, im not going to get a better chance than this."
So I told her "There is another reason I want to quit to." And she said "What?" in this painful, disappointed tone ive heard a million times before. I dont know how long I sat there trying to force it out, but it felt like minutes. Really tense and long minutes.
"I'm gay."
So she sat down and we talked. She asked me how do you know, who do I like, ect. And i ran into the same problem with all of my friends, its just so difficult to explain. She said she loves me, no matter what. But she doesnt fully believe me. She thinks its just a ruse so i dont have to pursue Eagle, and that im just being lazy. Shes expecting me to essentially stay in the closet for another three months just so I can get an award I no longer need or care about. I have a reputation with her for lying to get out of crap, so I guess I deserve it. I think most of my anxiety about coming out didn't come from them disapproving of gays or anything, but their disapproval of almost anything below their expectations.
I think the news sunk in more today, she's hugged me every chance she gets, is acting all emotional. Ill link her to pflag or something, ill have a real talk with her eventually, but it feels so strange right now. Not having to hide anything.
And thats it, I imagine shes going to tell my dad, and my brother will probably find out at school at some point. But everythings going good, my minds clear for the first time in a while, and i just feel...not so trapped. I feel awkward, but not trapped
Replies
Hi well don\'t for your brave admition it could not have been east. Your parents sound great and loving with plenty of support. Good luck for the future keep in touch A x
Congrats Austin on coming out to you mom I\'am glad it went well. Hope it also goes well for when your dad and brother find out. And like when you said she doesn\'t fully believe me. She thinks its just a ruse.
Well as of today for me my mom still denies the truth of me being gay but she is still okay with it after telling her months ago. So it will take time for everyone to get used to the news of you being gay. So good luck and take care.
I\'m so proud of you lil bro.. now, just live all the days of you life!!
Much love to you always man, later.
Wow! You are very brave indeed. It seems that your mother is quite surprised, but still very loving. When I recently told my parents, I was hit with the kind of expected reaction of \"Don\'t talk with me again.\" So at least for now, my family doesn\'t want anything to do with me. At least your mother isn\'t that way, even if she is in denial right now. Everything will be alright.