Told my Mom
I have never had a close relationship with my Mom. I was always a "Daddy's girl" and when they divorced, I was the only child who chose to live with my Dad. My Dad was an alcoholic, but a wonderful Dad when he wasn't drinking and my very best friend. He died when I was 25. He was diagnosed with colon cancer at the ripe old age of 49. I was his nurse for three years and was snuggled against his back when he left this world. During the last three years of his life (after his diagnosis) we had a lot of heart to hearts and he apologized for how his drinking affected our family.
Because of my decision, my mother would use the term "you are just like your daddy" as an insult. Over the last 26 years since my Dad's death, my Mom and I have also been able to have some really difficult heart to hearts and she too acknowledged that she wasn't the perfect parent.
Given my father's drinking and the "you're just like your daddy" comments, I was hesitant to tell Mom. Her first response was "Honey, I didn't realize you had a drinking problem. I knew something wasn't right, but I have never seen you drink too much". I told here how my drinking had evolved into an everyday event and that I feel I have a problem. Her response was "I'm so proud of you!!" And then we both cried! I was blessed with two very imperfect, but great and loving parents. Feeling grateful and like a weight has been lifted!!!
Because of my decision, my mother would use the term "you are just like your daddy" as an insult. Over the last 26 years since my Dad's death, my Mom and I have also been able to have some really difficult heart to hearts and she too acknowledged that she wasn't the perfect parent.
Given my father's drinking and the "you're just like your daddy" comments, I was hesitant to tell Mom. Her first response was "Honey, I didn't realize you had a drinking problem. I knew something wasn't right, but I have never seen you drink too much". I told here how my drinking had evolved into an everyday event and that I feel I have a problem. Her response was "I'm so proud of you!!" And then we both cried! I was blessed with two very imperfect, but great and loving parents. Feeling grateful and like a weight has been lifted!!!
Replies
I am very moved by what you wrote, I feel that huge positive stride you took. I was a daddy\'s girl too and I still miss him so much but I like to think he would be happy with my efforts to change, he always wanted me to be happy.
I\'m so glad you were able to confide in your mother, even scarred relationships are renewed when there is enough love and trust, at least that has been my experience. I have become closer to my mum over time sober. Parents have their flaws, as my son has seen in me, but love and acceptance go a very long way.