Todays Thoughts!
OMG, I can't go on with this chronic pain, its really driving me insane, every morning I awake to day break, this chronic pain ligers into me, is horrible, these doctors are ass'es, my husband contributes to this by caussing me severe deprssion, anxiety, stress, and the likes. My sugar is probably rocketing sky high, my ears are always blocked, never getting a good nights sleep, the boys don't really nap any more, their so clingy, and whinney, not when their alone, but when their with each other. Battling all these enemys with in my self, I just want to be free of all this shit already. I can't deal and cope with the exsessive bull shit. I think of a wonderful cartoon one who I consider to be my bestest friends sent to me, "HOW THE CROSS WAS TO HEAVY TO CARRY" God and my cross is so darn heavy but if I cut it I know I will never cross the bridge into eternity, the eternity I truly believe is "HEAVEN", for EARTH IS HELL. I have not heard from him, and I know it will just be a darn nasty curse out letter if I do. I try not to think about him, God is that a real test of the heart set on fire by what he did. My kid decided to be nice for a day, so thats a plus, it does not last, she set up a 3 day vacation in Wildwood NJ, so I'm hoping she does not back out of that, it was a family tradition, and I just go to more or less people, and seagull watch on the boardwalk. Have a favorite game room/casino there, you get tickets that you can get some thing or you can save them through the years. Don't go to the beach, way to far to walk to get to the ocean, and besides I wouldn't go swimming in the ocean any longer, I just don't have the strength. Hope the boys get me some sea-shells. I'm so dar sleepy, if I could just get a cat nap daily I would be ok. But thats impossible. Well good-bye journal, see you again if God allows. Just Me!
Replies
Hang in there - yes, you are correct, when in chronic pain - stress makes it worse - stress is such an evil thing to our bodies, i have RA and i had to learn stress and pain management, as i refuse to take medications of any kind - as a recovering addict - that\'s not uncommon - but i know it sounds ridiculous, YOGA, TAI CHI, NATURE SOUNDS - WAVES SOUNDS - close yourself from the world - YOU MUST RELIEVE the stress - the hardest thing for me to learn and still do is not to stress over things i can not control -you CAN\'T control your husband or his actions - YOU CAN\'T - you know you and i\'ve talked and he\'s making a lot of his own choices - he may not realize the ramification of those choices before they are too late, BUT you can\'t stress over them - i am glad to hear you are going to be getting a little vacation, a new enviroment does wonders for our soul - i know this is easier said than done as i struggle with it each day - but if you are to the point of stress overload, then you are not bearing your burdens to God - God wants to take those from us - doesn\'t mean we see instant results - but it does mean we will see results. LUKE 18:7 - God will always give what is right to his people who cry to him night and day - Put you some ear plugs in, do some deep breathing exercise, pray for a chance for your body to rest, go to a dark place put on nature sounds (I find ocean/wave to be the best for me) and give yourself an hour or too of no interruptions, no matter what - the more tired we are the less we can think right - i know i am not a sleeper either - Bless you - prayers and strength are headed your way.
u asked how i get thru it? very carefully..i keep tryin n it never easy..today i had to go bac n explain my meds arent workin help..this i have done 4 times this yr,its getttin so frustratin,i could scream but i got a teenager so i have to keep tryin,hang in there,hugs,ann
Can\'t say any more than looks like has been said. Just hang in there. Good days will come. Stay strong.
I too know the chronic pain thing and understand how it can make you feel absolutely crayzy. Mine is hanging in there 6 yrs after back surgery. I think I\'ll come in here and send you a message of encouragement next time I wake at 3 am and can\'t sleep . Won\'t you do the same. I would welcome a hello from a friend, anytime. It makes the pain worse. Mine don\'t nap at all, all grown. My daughter just left for work one morning and never returned. Saw her today and she asked me not to talk to her at work. What did I do? We all have crosses, I pray yours is light.
yes stress can bring on all sortsa things and yet how do we avoid becoming stressed 2 have better health......its very difficult i know....