todays hurt
I know things are so fresh and new (the hurt/hate) of what happened. I told my wife it was if I could feel the wind blowing through all of me it hurt and still to a point hurts now. She also just wanted to forget and move on with out dealing with what happened. It is easier for the cheater to close off the memory of what they did and just move on, but I had to know all of the sorted affair happenings before I could even try to heal. First I felt if she didn't put it all on the table she was still hiding things from me and that I couldn't handle. Second I needed all the info so if another situation started to develop I could see the traits of the first affair and either stop it or walk away. So it is up to them (cheating partners) to allow us to heal or just fester like an open wound. It all comes down to trust, if they can open up to us and lay everything on the table and I do mean everything. Then we can have that time to greave for the loss of what we had and have the time to decide what path we will take. It is our path not our partners at this point they already took the wrong turn and have no right to tell us what to do. Then and only then can we make rational decisions and decide on what to do. Only time will tell as whether the decisions we made are the right ones. Jerry xxxxxx
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we\'re all pulling for you...
you put that perfectly. it\'s gonna be ok, sweetie. you\'re such a strong man. once you get thru dealing with what happened you\'ll be ready to start going forward again. i have faith in you. it\'s all gonna work out. i\'m praying for you both...patty xx
I agree - it\'s like if they don\'t discuss it, IT never happened. Like you, I want to know details, but at some point (not now, because I don\'t ask), I stopped believing him when he would tell me things because I didn\'t know if it was the truth or a lie. I feel that if they would just open up and tell everything rather than making us ask the questions, it would be better; however, my H has said that he doesn\'t bring it up because he doesn\'t want to increase the hurt - my head understands that, my heart says that is just BS - he doesn\'t want to discuss it because it makes him look bad. I\'m glad that you are bringing things out in the open with your wife and I pray that she will understand and things will be great between you two again! :-)
i am so rooting for you. something i have learned...one can forgive, but never forget. in my life...it is so true.