Today you would have been 6 months old

Today you would have been 6 months old my sweet Alex Angel. Loosing you broke my heart into more pieces than my heart was made of. I still remember crying hysterically in the operating room, scared of your arrival cause it was not suppose to be that way. Remembering how this nurse managed to calm me down. I really wished at that point that thy would just completely put me to sleep cause I could not see how thy could operate with me hysterical on the other side . Then puled myself together to be strong for you. Remember seeing them working on you after you were born and what a strong cried you had. That Cry will always stay in my heart. And remember them bringing you to me for a hello kiss I was so scared to touch you you were so small. but gave you a kiss on your for head and cheek. and then you were taken to NICU. I was so full of confidence and hope that you will grow nice and strong and come home. I miss you so much little man. The new normal for me is knowing that I will never forget you or stop missing you. Not a day or a million years. My heart will always be with you my Alex Aiden.