Today was horrible.
Yesterday, our daughters took their father out to dinner. Must have been quite a doozy, because I have been yelled at, threatened and given what for. For what? Oh, we have to go to Court Friday. I hate having to go through this stuff; I already tried the "have a conversation between two rational adults" approach. Besides which, it costs $$ I'd rather save or be able to spend elsewhere. But I digress. . .
I, of course, have again been cast in the role of the villain, because I take it somewhat hard when I am going about my own business and somebody comes bopping in the door without knocking, yelling and threatening me, telling me I'm destroying people's lives...oh, you mean that married woman with a kid you've been sleeping with and drooling about her larger paycheck? No, I am not ruining her life, but it seems from the outside she doesn't need any help in that dept. anyway. And of course, our kids are getting hurt by her intrusion, but hey, you'll just jolly them along by telling them what a "nice" woman she is and how evil I am? I am really getting the gist of how naive I was when I first met you!
Anyway, I know you lied about mediation; you lied when we got married, you lied the weekend you went off with her, calling off from work shortly after you left. You lied when you returned and I already had a pretty good idea what went down. I know the girls understand some of what they are subjected to, because I have been accused today of "trying to buy favor" by taking one to the mall and buying her a few shirts and a pair of sandals. And hearing the remarks about how they don't know if they can trust me. Or how one is getting the heck out in a few weeks so that NOBODY will get "her" money. All I can say is that I'm sick of living two steps down from white trash...this is ALL pathetic, shouldn't be happening (especially the way it is). I remind myself that the best, only thing you can do is destroy, or try to. Hey, anyone can do that. You want me to respect what a two-year-child can accomplish? No, it takes character, determination and overcoming cowardice (not to mention effort) to create, build or mend. Not everyone can do that; I haven't seen a glance in that direction from you.
Hold me tight, Lord, for I am tired and frustrated...anyway, the worst part of today? It was horrible in one sense, but it DIDN'T have to be that way. Be near and help me to remember an enemy is trying to drive a wedge between those I love and me...
I, of course, have again been cast in the role of the villain, because I take it somewhat hard when I am going about my own business and somebody comes bopping in the door without knocking, yelling and threatening me, telling me I'm destroying people's lives...oh, you mean that married woman with a kid you've been sleeping with and drooling about her larger paycheck? No, I am not ruining her life, but it seems from the outside she doesn't need any help in that dept. anyway. And of course, our kids are getting hurt by her intrusion, but hey, you'll just jolly them along by telling them what a "nice" woman she is and how evil I am? I am really getting the gist of how naive I was when I first met you!
Anyway, I know you lied about mediation; you lied when we got married, you lied the weekend you went off with her, calling off from work shortly after you left. You lied when you returned and I already had a pretty good idea what went down. I know the girls understand some of what they are subjected to, because I have been accused today of "trying to buy favor" by taking one to the mall and buying her a few shirts and a pair of sandals. And hearing the remarks about how they don't know if they can trust me. Or how one is getting the heck out in a few weeks so that NOBODY will get "her" money. All I can say is that I'm sick of living two steps down from white trash...this is ALL pathetic, shouldn't be happening (especially the way it is). I remind myself that the best, only thing you can do is destroy, or try to. Hey, anyone can do that. You want me to respect what a two-year-child can accomplish? No, it takes character, determination and overcoming cowardice (not to mention effort) to create, build or mend. Not everyone can do that; I haven't seen a glance in that direction from you.
Hold me tight, Lord, for I am tired and frustrated...anyway, the worst part of today? It was horrible in one sense, but it DIDN'T have to be that way. Be near and help me to remember an enemy is trying to drive a wedge between those I love and me...
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