Today was great but tonight is hard

I think i have ruined my husbands life. I think deep down inside he resents me. You see he is gay, and yes i am a girl. He married me because were best friends and have a baby. Sometimes i wish he would find what really makes him happy. I feel just waeful. When you know someone loves you and you love them it hurts when they hurt. I have a baby and she is my world. she makes everyday worth it. Had i not had her i would not be alive. I wish i were thin. I wish i were a man. I wish i didnt make my husband suffer so much. He loves me but i know he does not want this life. He told me tonight somthig that broke my heart. that he doesnt have thoughts or opinions anymore. he told me his life just revolves around making me and my daughter happy. It was a stab to the heart. his birthday would be so much better with a man but he chose me. and still my heart aches because i could never be that special someone. the only thing i can do is be the best friend and the best mom i can. I think my life...