Today I Cried
Today I sat in the back of my car...I am looking for mom's insurance cards...still laying there is Ken's Star War's Birthday Card...I think I tried to make his birthday be more normal like this year...A Success it was NOT..as most of you know I have been really down...and
Today I Cried...
The tears could not be held back any longer...I feel so trapped in this house of mine..
I can not yell..I can not show hurt...I have to wear mask that are just too thick to get on...
I am tired of all this...I am tired of trying to act like it is all okay...
What could be okay in a mom's heart when all she feels is the PAIN of her CHILD gone. So
Today I Cried...
I did not cry as much as I wanted...I wanted to sob as I did months ago...I yelled in my mind why this had to be...I still have no answers..I never will be...So I had the chance..
Today I Cried....
Today I Cried, cause I don't want Ken gone...Today I Cried, cause the pain is so bad..Today I cried..I feel no better...Today I Cried as I just don't understand ...
Today again I wanted the answers..Today again I just want my old life back..Today...and everyday...I want my child back...
Today I Cried...Yesterday I cried...everyday since you left I have cried...other's may not see it...the tears may not roll down my cheek...other's look at me as if I am fine...but
Today I Cried as usual since the day you left us...
No to my family..No to my friends...No to others who just happened to see me...I am not
okay...I will never be...Yes I am thankful for the things I have...but nothing can take the
place for the one that:
TODAY I CRIED FOR.
Love you son, Mom
Today I Cried...
The tears could not be held back any longer...I feel so trapped in this house of mine..
I can not yell..I can not show hurt...I have to wear mask that are just too thick to get on...
I am tired of all this...I am tired of trying to act like it is all okay...
What could be okay in a mom's heart when all she feels is the PAIN of her CHILD gone. So
Today I Cried...
I did not cry as much as I wanted...I wanted to sob as I did months ago...I yelled in my mind why this had to be...I still have no answers..I never will be...So I had the chance..
Today I Cried....
Today I Cried, cause I don't want Ken gone...Today I Cried, cause the pain is so bad..Today I cried..I feel no better...Today I Cried as I just don't understand ...
Today again I wanted the answers..Today again I just want my old life back..Today...and everyday...I want my child back...
Today I Cried...Yesterday I cried...everyday since you left I have cried...other's may not see it...the tears may not roll down my cheek...other's look at me as if I am fine...but
Today I Cried as usual since the day you left us...
No to my family..No to my friends...No to others who just happened to see me...I am not
okay...I will never be...Yes I am thankful for the things I have...but nothing can take the
place for the one that:
TODAY I CRIED FOR.
Love you son, Mom
Replies
beautifully written, I so understand your PAIN. Marcia
I understand too! Love Susan
My heart cries for you, too, Sandi! Maybe next time you start crying, which I fully understand you are tired of, you might go grab a big pillow, and get into someplace away from others and just let it go, go, go. Cry, scream, hit that pillow, anything. It could be in a big closet, the garage, in the car, in a far corner of the yard or anywhere you will not be bothered. I know it would make you physically more tired, but perhaps it might help your heart heal a little bit. Hugs & love, Margery Ann
Crying is good. Don\'t hold it in, let it out, it\'s cleansing. I\'ve cried every day now for the 6 plus months that Jason has been gone and I don\'t see any end to it and I don\'t care what people think. I need to cry to feel better. Cry as much and as often as you can and don\'t give a hoot who sees you or what they think. You need to do it for yourself. Sending you love, Terry
We all cry, alone and with our sisters here at FMO... unfortunately I know I can\'t cry with family.. it seems to put them into too much pain and I have enough in me I don\'t want to cause more.
Hugs MaryLou
Sandi, we all cry. I wonder if the tears will ever end. I try to act \"normal\".
Thanks for sharing.
Your friend.
Nell
i cryall the time and reading this mademe cry bless you angie x
Dear Sandi,
You have so much going on and it sounds like your feelings need to be validated. I am sorry you have restartints on your emotions cause it just makes it so much harder. Sometimes getting in the tub and having a good cry helps. Hugs, Inga
I\'m like Nell. I wonder if the tears will ever end too. I wish you peace. Hugs, Linda
Sometimes tears are the only thing that helps. love and peace, Roselle