Today has sucked
Logically I know I have bi-polar disorder. Logically I know that one of the symptoms is over spending. Logically I know that most people don't budget, or even stick to it most of the time. But I did. While on my meds I did. Then my doctor said he didn't think I needed them anymore. Budgeting got sloppy, I talked to my doctor and my husband. My doctor said that he still thinks i don't need the meds but I do need to relearn how to live without them.
I wish I would have listened. Or taken it more seriously I guess. But this month I screwed up.I but us in the hole with my spending. And I can't even tell you what I spent it on - a hundred little things I guess. I feel like an idiot. I feel like I let my husband down. He has been great, I know he is stressed and disappointed but he isn't doing or saying anything except encouraging things to me. It only makes me feel worse. He is amazing and I HATE that I did this to him.
So, I sucked it up. I called a friend and she has agreed to help me with meal planning (detailed) and making a shopping list. Then my hubby agreed to check the receipt when I get home to make sure there are no extra purchases. I will turn in every receipt for anything I spend and he will check it against our online banking weekly to make sure I haven't missed anything. I called another amazing friend and she is checking in with me at least every other day by email, phone or text to see how I am doing.
But I hate it. I hate that I need it. I feel like a child who is being punished. Logically I know that's not it. Logically I know that my parents have never done a budget in their life, I truly never learned these skills until recently and I was on meds when I started. I have never had to do it on my own before. And it's hard.
I asked my friends, my husband and my doctor if I need to go back on my meds. I almost wish they would have said yes. But apparently I am doing the right things, taking responsibility for my actions, putting a plan in place and checks to make sure I stick to it.
is it just me or does being an adult blow sometime??
I wish I would have listened. Or taken it more seriously I guess. But this month I screwed up.I but us in the hole with my spending. And I can't even tell you what I spent it on - a hundred little things I guess. I feel like an idiot. I feel like I let my husband down. He has been great, I know he is stressed and disappointed but he isn't doing or saying anything except encouraging things to me. It only makes me feel worse. He is amazing and I HATE that I did this to him.
So, I sucked it up. I called a friend and she has agreed to help me with meal planning (detailed) and making a shopping list. Then my hubby agreed to check the receipt when I get home to make sure there are no extra purchases. I will turn in every receipt for anything I spend and he will check it against our online banking weekly to make sure I haven't missed anything. I called another amazing friend and she is checking in with me at least every other day by email, phone or text to see how I am doing.
But I hate it. I hate that I need it. I feel like a child who is being punished. Logically I know that's not it. Logically I know that my parents have never done a budget in their life, I truly never learned these skills until recently and I was on meds when I started. I have never had to do it on my own before. And it's hard.
I asked my friends, my husband and my doctor if I need to go back on my meds. I almost wish they would have said yes. But apparently I am doing the right things, taking responsibility for my actions, putting a plan in place and checks to make sure I stick to it.
is it just me or does being an adult blow sometime??
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