Today, another day at a time

I keep saying to myself that i won't be too hard on myself but at the same time I can't be lax. All these regulations and expectations do seem to make the burden more difficult and my sense of responsibility tiring. I want to learn how to enjoy responsibility and I believe this will be from God because the world teaches us not to be responsible really.. but that things will just come, be momentary but full of pleasure in the meantime so just do it and don't thinka bout consequences. But consequences are unavoidable. I will reap what I sow. If i do not diet, if i let things get out of hand without dealing with them, if I ignore my health etc. etc.  I am so fortunate really.. and want my mind to be washed clean because that's where this anxiety about fatness comes from.. It's so hard to ignore that yelling voice that says - you need the bad foods to make you feel better or those rebellious temptations .. because there's nothing else. That simply is a lie, a manipulation that comes from the world. I want to believe there is more and I refuse to keep compromising and staying ina place of guilt. The attitude that i've adopted to ask God for forgiveness right away and stop concentrating on my mistakes is really helping. In this way I am surrendering to God much sooner and there is always a humility that comes from the spirit if you are genuinely trying to focus on God. So i've eaten really well today so far anyway and just figure i'm going to try and get heaps of 'chastity' stuff into my system and 'building good habits' as well.My boy and I are getting deeper into sex and i feel like God is telling me that he needs me to reach deeper into purity. So in other words i feel like i'm under attack at a most vital time where it could be a whole lot easier and so I feel like something is about to snap inside of me in a good way. I'm trying to write a book about purity.. so if anyone has any suggestions please do let me know. bye for now.