today 1-15-13

today he had a huge blow up because my son stayed home sick from school, im sorry i cant send him to school when he is sick and the school would just send him home anyway. no he is not as sick as a i thought but he couldnt go coughing and sneezing all over every body. so he says that he has missed too much this year, all of which has not been his fault, first off a bout of bad constipation, he was out for 4 days, by dr's orders and then he was off 1.5 days for a rash per dr's orders and this is the first time this year he has an actual cold. so he wanting yelling all about being home this morning and how he needs to be in school and that he should eat better and get more exercise so that he is healthier, wth? Also he yelled at my son about it that he should be in school and his parents made him go to school when he was sick and made my son cry, bullshit! This was before he had his coffee so we never talk to him before his coffee but he started this morning with this crap. this is so sickening to listen to nearly on a daily basis of different rantings. If he cared so much, maybe he should cook supper or actually do something with our son except sit on his ass and play video games with him but its my sons fault or my fault. He's such an ass. I was so exhausted this morning, been so tired lately, life is just exhausting me but as i lay in bed this morning with my son cuz thats where he has to be if he's sick, not allowed to be downstairs near him so he doesn't get sick. As i lay there, I think to myself if i had enough energy i could just pack up and leave because he had left for a while to drop off something to his business partner and wasn't around, i could have just left, just packed up but i didn't, i was just too tired. Of course then he comes back home and he's the nicest guy ever and expects us to go on like nothing happened, like he wasn't yelling like a raving lunatic. Why didn't i just get up and go, why does this feel so impossible. I can't do this anymore, i hate myself for being there and putting up with this and for my son having to go through this crap.