today

Today is not as bad as it has been.I came back from a trip this week hoping to feel better and maybe have a better perspective on my life.I felt worse because  after the trip I expected to feel better and now I am out of ideas.I did not leave the house much and I stayed in bed alot.Today even though I feel better am hesitant to go with it knowing that the overwhelming feelings will be back.Right now not willing to do meds. This bout of depression has been about 3 years.I want to be the positive, fun and carefree person that I have been before.Thats all today.