To My Son Ken and Zoey and Heidi in Heaven

To the Pets of the World:  my beautiful puppy Zoey,  brought so much joy to my life.  This time last year my husband had had a triple-by-pass.  He got through the surgery fine and is still doing fine.  He came home the just 2 days after the surgery, which I thought was a bad ideal, but turned out to be a blessing.  Three weeks later our beloved Zoey was preparing for her departure from this earth.  On Mother's Day after a week of trying to save Zoey from Kidney Failure just a tiny 7 1/2 year old Cocker Spaniel, Zoey laid for hours by my side with her little nose on my face.  It was such a beautiful day for me and I am sure for her.  She was so sick.  She had been sick beginning the November before, however, she hid her illness from us so strongly as I have heard pets do.  That week we babied her did everything to help her get well, prayed harder for her that week.  Everyone would tell me I would know when it was time to let her go.  I could not even fathom the thought.  Surely, with prayer and love and treatment she would make it.  Monday morning we were going to take her back to the vet, by this time she was so weak and the pressure kept her feeling the need to go out.  We would carry her out.  The toxins had started to invade her brain.  That morning fearing the worse, I said "Let's take her Tuesday"  My hubby said it was up to me.  She had gone outside and I had gone to the back bedroom.  Slowly, as usual, Zoey came to find me, I said Hi Zoey, but she was just sorta looked at me for a second then she looked angry, I thought what's wrong, then I realized she did not see me only for that split second.  To make sure I moved back because what I saw in her eyes was "Mommy, I am so tired".  I knew we had to go to the Vet.  We went although I was still having hope.  The vet said "It's Time.  In despair I begged for a blood transfusion, anything, but he said sorry and took her back to get her ready.  He brought her back and gave us some time with her, we held her, told her we loved her, that we understood she had to go.
The vet came back in and within less than a second with my hand on her heart Zoey left us to go to Heaven.  It will be one year ago May 11th.
After Zoey passed I was so depressed, Zoey and I had spent so much of our time alone as my hubby worked many hours and was gone out of town a lot.
One day I said we have to get another puppy.  My hubby thought it was too soon, but I knew Zoey knew I  needed another puppy.  So we started looking.  I ask Zoey take us to the right puppy.   After Zoey passed, I called the person we had gotten Zoey from, Zoey's mom had died at 5 years too.  But she said they did not have any, a few days later she told us about a lady who had just had some puppies.  It was about 30 min from where we lived.  We went to see them.  So sweet, so little bellies still dragging the floor.  The people were leaving for vacation that night and would be back in 2 weeks.  I continued to look and found another puppy that was about and  hour and half away.  That day we contacted the owners of the little puppy to see if they were home. She said they were still gone, but would be back late that night.  I told her we were coming through her town to look at another puppy and if we didn't get that one we would call then the next day.  We got to their town and I got a phone call that went to my voice mail while we were getting gas.  Then we stopped at the next exit and I checked  my mail.  It was the puppy's owner saying they were home did we want to stop by.  So we did.  We never made it to see the other puppy, that day we purchased our Abby.  So many times I have said to Abby as she has been growing up, Zoey sure knew the puppy we needed.  Zoey was black with some white, and Abby is black with some white, but they have total different personalities.  Some alike, Most so different.  Abby happened to be born on Mother's Day last year, maybe about the time Zoey was giving me my good-bye love.  For those of you who love your pets, you know they bring such love, unconditional love into you life.  Abby has not replaced Zoey, she has only enhanced Zoey.  I know in my heart that Zoey  lead us to Abby.  Abby, has filled our home with the love of a puppy this year.  May 10th we will be celebrating her 1 year old birthday.
The year of 2009 has been a very bad year for us.  Zoey was with us every time we went to visit Kenny, she brought much happiness and comfort.
Abby has been with us through this terrible part of the year that we also lost  my sweet sweet son Kenny.  Kenny did get to meet Abby and he loved her too.  Zoey's passing hurt so bad and still hurts so bad.  There is no replacing Zoey and no replacing my son Kenny.  I know that Zoey met Kenny when he went to Heaven in Dec. 09.
As I reflected on Zoey's passing, it sorta was like Kenny's night he went to Heaven.  As with Zoey I had my hand on Kenny's heart as it took it's last heartbeat.
Having to lose my puppy was very hard, to loss my son has been devastating.  I loved Zoey, I loved Kenny.  Zoey gave me love of a puppy.  Kenny gave me love of a son something that all of us mother's here know.  The pain is so deep in losing our child.  I don't feel an animal can be replaced, and I know a child can't be replaced.  But each one has their own special things they gave to us.  I have four boys, but each one gives me something different.  Same mom, Same dad, but different.
I know I will never get over the loss of Kenny until the day we meet again.  I know deep in my heart, I still carry the pain of losing Zoey too.  But the thing about life is we need love, we deserve love,  God gave me my children, one he has taken to Heaven and I believe that God gives us pets too.  Somehow I feel they know what we need and what we are feeling.  At least I can say that about my two Cocker Spaniel's I have had.
Kenny(4months tonight) and Zoey((1year May 10), I hope you have a beautiful time together in Heaven and Kenny I know that Heidi(1984) is there with you too, your beloved German Shepard we had when you were young.  I can see you now running through the high grass when we were looking for Heidi that one day and I can see you now as your out of pain and
running the soft grass in Heaven with Heidi and Zoey knowing your having the time of you life.  This I am happy for.
But to you all that has gone on before, I miss you all so much.  I wish you could have stayed but one day we will all be together again and run the fields of Heaven laughing, smiling, and being happy again.  Until that day Kenny, I send you my love, and you can tell all the other's we love them too.  I miss you my son Kenny so very very much.  I miss you Zoey too.  I am just so happy all of you are out of pain, but sure miss seeing you here while we wait for our reunion in Heaven.
Love Mom 
"Crying For You"  by Toby Keith