To my boyfriend...
Dear **** (my boyfriend)
You have no idea how much I love you. We've been together nearly five months now and I've never felt like this before. Every cliche under the sun could not describe the way you make me feel or what is going on in my head. I'm so scared that you don't feel the same. I don't want to loose you but sometimes it's like you don't even care. And of course I know you do! You tell me every day that you love me and whenever I'm with you we can't keep our hands off each other but I feel like I've been really mean to you. There is nothing I can actually remember doing but I get so panicky sometimes that you resent me or you're just in it for the laughs...I hope you are taking our relationship seriously because I certainly am...
There is so much I want to do. I have all these images in my head...of watching DVDs in bed and going out for meals and just being us and going on holiday but all the while it's like you don't see it happening. I need you to take a more active role in our relationship- theirs nothing worse than one-way traffic. I always have to plan, I always have to try. You're inexperienced, and so am I! Were still so young really and you're sweet and funny but that's it sometimes...I don't get the balance. I'd love to tell you I was in love with you but sometimes I don't even know...
I'm so on and off with you and know that's cruel. You can be so unrealiable and it gets me down but it's not really you. I have this thing in my head called OCD and it makes me doubt everything, I try not to let it get in the way of our relationship but it does...sometime I love you so much and you turn me on like crazy and other times I don't even want to be around you.
Friday was amazing though...I love how you care about me and compliment me and aside from all the bad stuff, we have a good relationship! We've got such a long way to go, too progress as a couple, you don't know half the things about me you should but at the end of the day, you make me feel happy and special and that's all that matters. I'm sorry I pinch your arms when we hold hands but theirs just a harshness about myself I can't quite let go. If this sounds staged, maybe it is but while I was writing it, it came from my heart- I promise. I promise to try and tell you some of these things because you'll never read this even though I want you too. Theirs just too many things going on in my head that you can't know about.
In reality, all I want is love and commitment. You're only half committed. In all honesty I'm scared and I'm insecure and i need you to know that or this will never work. I'm one of these people who will ramble on for England so I'm going to tie this up now...I just want you too know I love you and I'll never consider what I was considering before again. You can trust me. I don't want to have to doubt you, myself or us anymore.
All my love,
Dee xxxxxx
You have no idea how much I love you. We've been together nearly five months now and I've never felt like this before. Every cliche under the sun could not describe the way you make me feel or what is going on in my head. I'm so scared that you don't feel the same. I don't want to loose you but sometimes it's like you don't even care. And of course I know you do! You tell me every day that you love me and whenever I'm with you we can't keep our hands off each other but I feel like I've been really mean to you. There is nothing I can actually remember doing but I get so panicky sometimes that you resent me or you're just in it for the laughs...I hope you are taking our relationship seriously because I certainly am...
There is so much I want to do. I have all these images in my head...of watching DVDs in bed and going out for meals and just being us and going on holiday but all the while it's like you don't see it happening. I need you to take a more active role in our relationship- theirs nothing worse than one-way traffic. I always have to plan, I always have to try. You're inexperienced, and so am I! Were still so young really and you're sweet and funny but that's it sometimes...I don't get the balance. I'd love to tell you I was in love with you but sometimes I don't even know...
I'm so on and off with you and know that's cruel. You can be so unrealiable and it gets me down but it's not really you. I have this thing in my head called OCD and it makes me doubt everything, I try not to let it get in the way of our relationship but it does...sometime I love you so much and you turn me on like crazy and other times I don't even want to be around you.
Friday was amazing though...I love how you care about me and compliment me and aside from all the bad stuff, we have a good relationship! We've got such a long way to go, too progress as a couple, you don't know half the things about me you should but at the end of the day, you make me feel happy and special and that's all that matters. I'm sorry I pinch your arms when we hold hands but theirs just a harshness about myself I can't quite let go. If this sounds staged, maybe it is but while I was writing it, it came from my heart- I promise. I promise to try and tell you some of these things because you'll never read this even though I want you too. Theirs just too many things going on in my head that you can't know about.
In reality, all I want is love and commitment. You're only half committed. In all honesty I'm scared and I'm insecure and i need you to know that or this will never work. I'm one of these people who will ramble on for England so I'm going to tie this up now...I just want you too know I love you and I'll never consider what I was considering before again. You can trust me. I don't want to have to doubt you, myself or us anymore.
All my love,
Dee xxxxxx
Replies