TO my best friend
Danielle,
I know lately I haven’t been the best friend. I know I have been annoying about telling you all my problems and you really don’t deserve to listen to that every time i call you, and im sorry for that. I hate that i do that to you, i don’t mean to though and its not done on purpose. I’m sorry if i annoy you all the time, that’s not my intention, it makes me feel bad. I don’t even know why you put up with me. I don’t know why at all. I wish that i could get rid of the OCD and be a better friend, because you deserve a better friend, and i know for a fact if i didn’t have this OCD/PTSD i would be a better friend to you. It just sucks that i can’t just block my fears out.
I often times think about what our friendship was like before i got depressed when i was 17. We were close. We used to do everything together. We used to spend the night with each other every weekend it seemed like. We used to go to the movies together and Six Flags and shopping and stuff like that. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why i became so depressed. Maybe it was school, and everyone picking on me constantly, or maybe it was just because i didnt know how to deal with my PTSD and i wasnt even sure if i had it then or not.. It’s so unfair. I destroyed our bond. I destroyed our friendship, and i feel horrible about that still. When you weren’t my friend for a while, i felt like i lost the sister i always wanted. and it hurt a lot.
You’re such a good person and im glad you accepted my friendship again after all the bullshit i put you through. I don’t even know why you did. You didn’t have to. You’re too good of a person for me. I feel like im gonna loose you again as a friend if i keep talking about all my problems to you all the time. I am trying so hard to stop, i really am. I don’t want to loose you as a friend again. That will hurt a lot if that happens right now…I know what im doing is wrong, and i know i need to stop talking about those things with you. Maybe i should just write it down or something. I just hope i don’t loose you as a friend, I still see you as a sister, even though i feel like you’re slipping away from me and that scares me.
I know lately I haven’t been the best friend. I know I have been annoying about telling you all my problems and you really don’t deserve to listen to that every time i call you, and im sorry for that. I hate that i do that to you, i don’t mean to though and its not done on purpose. I’m sorry if i annoy you all the time, that’s not my intention, it makes me feel bad. I don’t even know why you put up with me. I don’t know why at all. I wish that i could get rid of the OCD and be a better friend, because you deserve a better friend, and i know for a fact if i didn’t have this OCD/PTSD i would be a better friend to you. It just sucks that i can’t just block my fears out.
I often times think about what our friendship was like before i got depressed when i was 17. We were close. We used to do everything together. We used to spend the night with each other every weekend it seemed like. We used to go to the movies together and Six Flags and shopping and stuff like that. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why i became so depressed. Maybe it was school, and everyone picking on me constantly, or maybe it was just because i didnt know how to deal with my PTSD and i wasnt even sure if i had it then or not.. It’s so unfair. I destroyed our bond. I destroyed our friendship, and i feel horrible about that still. When you weren’t my friend for a while, i felt like i lost the sister i always wanted. and it hurt a lot.
You’re such a good person and im glad you accepted my friendship again after all the bullshit i put you through. I don’t even know why you did. You didn’t have to. You’re too good of a person for me. I feel like im gonna loose you again as a friend if i keep talking about all my problems to you all the time. I am trying so hard to stop, i really am. I don’t want to loose you as a friend again. That will hurt a lot if that happens right now…I know what im doing is wrong, and i know i need to stop talking about those things with you. Maybe i should just write it down or something. I just hope i don’t loose you as a friend, I still see you as a sister, even though i feel like you’re slipping away from me and that scares me.
Replies
well if that letter was sent to me it would touch my heart. Im sure it will do the same to your friend who understands how difficult things are for you, god bless