To my Abuser *trigger warning*
Dear Mr. B,
Do you know how much pain you've caused me? Do you know how much your few minutes of fun has cost my life?? 4 and a half years of panic attacks, depression, cutting, suicidal ideation..... and now I have an auto-immune disease!!!!!!!!!! If you hadn't taken out your sick pleasures on me, I would be in such a different place today. You spoiled my life. You took away my emotions. I'm afraid of I don't even know what. I experience dissociation almost daily. I can't move forward in life. Your wounds have left me stuck. You claimed to be a minister, you claimed to know God, but you were just a power-hungry, manipulating beast. I do not remember you (for which I am glad) but mom talks of you and says how manipulative you were, how your wife was clearly codependent, and she said how grateful she is you two had boys and not girls. I hope you never hurt your boys!!! Coming from a minister is bad, but your own father is ten times worse!!
I love God. And as far as I know, you do not know Him, whether or not you preach every Sunday, sing hymns and pray for your congregation. Do you know who Jesus was? Mom said she asked you once, and you didn't have a good answer for her. It was later that she came to understand who He is and began teaching us children. Jesus is the Son of God, and the friend of man. Jesus is the healer and redeemer. He is the High Priest forever in the order of Melchizedek. Because of Him we can approach God's thrown and through him we are HEALED. I will not stop seeking God. And I believe He will heal me in time of the wounds you inflicted on me.
I just want you to know what your addiction is costing the girls you molest. It is not just our moment of fear while we are with you, it is not just the physical pain we may feel. It is a wound to our heart and soul. You have crossed a boundary that is not to be crossed. And left us shattered. Our hearts are wounded and we no longer know how to handle our emotions. Many become cutters – I have. Many dissociate – I do. Many wonder if it's worth fighting to live – I have. It's as though you have chopped off my right hand and I cannot function without it. But it's an invisible wound and so the average person does not see or know I need help.
I hate what you have done to me. I hate what I have become. And I hate you for doing it. My anger is justified. And God is a just God. He hears the cries of the afflicted. He takes revenge on those who hurt little children. May God be the judge between you and me. I will no longer fear you. I will no longer hate you. I relinquish you to the creator, the Almighty God. He knows you. He even loves you. But he hates the sin you have committed. And he hears the cries of every little girl you touched.
No longer yours,
~Anonymous
Do you know how much pain you've caused me? Do you know how much your few minutes of fun has cost my life?? 4 and a half years of panic attacks, depression, cutting, suicidal ideation..... and now I have an auto-immune disease!!!!!!!!!! If you hadn't taken out your sick pleasures on me, I would be in such a different place today. You spoiled my life. You took away my emotions. I'm afraid of I don't even know what. I experience dissociation almost daily. I can't move forward in life. Your wounds have left me stuck. You claimed to be a minister, you claimed to know God, but you were just a power-hungry, manipulating beast. I do not remember you (for which I am glad) but mom talks of you and says how manipulative you were, how your wife was clearly codependent, and she said how grateful she is you two had boys and not girls. I hope you never hurt your boys!!! Coming from a minister is bad, but your own father is ten times worse!!
I love God. And as far as I know, you do not know Him, whether or not you preach every Sunday, sing hymns and pray for your congregation. Do you know who Jesus was? Mom said she asked you once, and you didn't have a good answer for her. It was later that she came to understand who He is and began teaching us children. Jesus is the Son of God, and the friend of man. Jesus is the healer and redeemer. He is the High Priest forever in the order of Melchizedek. Because of Him we can approach God's thrown and through him we are HEALED. I will not stop seeking God. And I believe He will heal me in time of the wounds you inflicted on me.
I just want you to know what your addiction is costing the girls you molest. It is not just our moment of fear while we are with you, it is not just the physical pain we may feel. It is a wound to our heart and soul. You have crossed a boundary that is not to be crossed. And left us shattered. Our hearts are wounded and we no longer know how to handle our emotions. Many become cutters – I have. Many dissociate – I do. Many wonder if it's worth fighting to live – I have. It's as though you have chopped off my right hand and I cannot function without it. But it's an invisible wound and so the average person does not see or know I need help.
I hate what you have done to me. I hate what I have become. And I hate you for doing it. My anger is justified. And God is a just God. He hears the cries of the afflicted. He takes revenge on those who hurt little children. May God be the judge between you and me. I will no longer fear you. I will no longer hate you. I relinquish you to the creator, the Almighty God. He knows you. He even loves you. But he hates the sin you have committed. And he hears the cries of every little girl you touched.
No longer yours,
~Anonymous
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