To All The Boys I've Loved Before....

OKAY THIS IS TO BE FUNNY:
To all the boys I've loved before,
Who dared to enter my front door.
My dad would show his guns
They looked at the door to run.
They really had no fun with me.

I'd be compared to President's Jackie!
We'd bowl and play some golf,
Then play ping-pong on the darned Atari.
Until parents heard no noise
and back to square one, with the gun!

Never once did I loose my virginity,
I didn't drink a drop of alcohol.
My dad was enough to bear, and
Mother had her ugly stare,
That really, really frightened me!!

Why can't I find a break and
Shake them out of my head,
When I go to bed; it is beyond me!
My own children had it great!
We sacrificed our budget so that
We now we have a low credit rate!
How can that be?? (scratching head) 
I have looked everywhere
For the items I thought I had,
But forgot them in the fridge instead
and also in my hands or head!
What is coming over me?

It can't be old age, I pray,
My folks are still alive today!
My dad was right all along,
You show them the biggest gun and
They will all run the other way!!

Deb Clark