To All My Wonderful Caring Friends
Thank you all for all your kind words, your hugs, your understanding. The person that wrote the comment as far as I know has never lost a child, she is going through divorce. That is painful, but there is life after divorce and I can say that since I am a divorced person. Nothing in life is easy. But my feelings are that you should never tell anyone how they should be acting, or feeling. I came to this site in search for love, caring and friendship and a way to express my pain and my thoughts and not be judged. By all of my dear friends, you have done that for me. I am sorry that only one has to bring you down to feeling as if I am just to forget my son. I will never forget my son. I am sorry she felt she needed to lash out at me. I am sure she is having her own pain. But not the pain of losing a child. I have deleted her from my friends list because I am in enough pain and sorrow to have more thrown at me.
Just today we received an update on our wills. I was reading them to my husband, we are to review them and go in and sign them. Everything was fine and in order, till I got to the part: Kenneth Lee Westerfield, deceased. That was an arrow shot right through my heart. The tears came, I could not read another word. All I could see was my sweet baby's name saying "deceased". I guess that is the fact of this life that we who have lost our child has to deal with.
Again, to each of you who took time to let me know your cared you are my dear friends and you know the pain I feel. I hope the person who wrote this to me never ever has to experience the pain we feel as mom's because our life is out of order.
The thing I feel is best to learn, if you have nothing nice to say, just say nothing.
God bless each of you today and my love goes to each of you.
Sandi
Just today we received an update on our wills. I was reading them to my husband, we are to review them and go in and sign them. Everything was fine and in order, till I got to the part: Kenneth Lee Westerfield, deceased. That was an arrow shot right through my heart. The tears came, I could not read another word. All I could see was my sweet baby's name saying "deceased". I guess that is the fact of this life that we who have lost our child has to deal with.
Again, to each of you who took time to let me know your cared you are my dear friends and you know the pain I feel. I hope the person who wrote this to me never ever has to experience the pain we feel as mom's because our life is out of order.
The thing I feel is best to learn, if you have nothing nice to say, just say nothing.
God bless each of you today and my love goes to each of you.
Sandi
Replies
It remains difficult to see our childrens names and the word deceased. It goes against all that makes sense in this world. After 3 years I still have moments when my heart beats faster and tears flow and just looking at Richards picture sets me off. Like my son said \" baby steps mom\" . Hugs, Inga
Baby steps is right. In this journey you don\'t get anywhere quickly. You may seem almost there and then, Wham, a reminder of some kind of why we are here and the memories and tears are brought forth once again. We shall never forget our children and life does go on. May you find peace today. Truly your friend, Barb
I welled up with tears when I read what you wrote about the wills. It is devastating to me to have to close Greg\'s bank accounts and deal with the paperwork that is so much a part of this world and life....it just isn\'t right that all this paperwork is about his death and not about his future. We still get mail from his college about picking a dorm and getting linen service and food plans and it just absolutely slays me....this world doesn\'t let grieving for your child be easy. People who have not experienced this loss just don\'t get it at all. You were so right in your previous journal when you wrote that we do NOT get over the death of our child. We learn to accept it and live with it but...we never, ever get over it....my heart is with you Sandi...Peace and Love, Anne
My heart aches while reading about your pain. You should always vent and rage, ramble and share here at DS...it is a cathartic experience and brings about a certain kind of solace. I am here as well the other moms....love, dale...brandon\'s mom
I know that arrow...and you never know when it will hit...auch a stinking reality. As far as the person that wrote that hurtful comment. I have to tell you that I hold FMO very closely to my heart...and it is JUST for other moms. What I mean by that is that I only have friends on this site that are grieving moms. I have invites from other DS members, but I decided, early on, that here I would surround myself with only moms that knew what I was experiencing. So...you may consider only befriending or accepting invites from other moms on FMO...just a thought. Love to you and gentle hugs...Karen
Good for you girl. Surround yourself with love from fellow Mom\'s that are walking beside you. Hugs, Barbara
We had our wills done when I was working & a lawyers office was attached to the CPA firm I was working at - he did wills for everyone in our office. At the time we only had the two girls - Billy wasn\'t even being thought of then. When he was born I called & asked the lawyer if we had to do anything about adding Billy to our wills - he said no because it is implied & everything would be divided between all three - now it is back to just the two girls. Life just sucks sometimes... but then we pick ourselves up & some how keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hugs, Ann