TO ALL I HAVE BEATEN MENTAL ILLNESS BY VADER

This journal story has taken me 1962 to 2009 to write.But Now I can shout it from the root tops.I can say I have done it.I can say that life begins at 61 for I HAVE BEATEN MENTAL ILLNESS.I HAVE DECIDED TO WRITE AT LEAST 5 JOURNALS ABOUT IT. I WANT TO SHARE MY STORY BECAUSE YOU KIDS IN YOUR 20S ARE LUCKY..YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE GOING TO SCHOOL BACK THEN..AND IF THE TEACHERS HIT YOU...YOU COULDNT TELL YOUR PARENTS...IT WAS DIFFERENT.NOW LET ME BEGIN.It was a good time for me.My parents just celebrated this anniversary.I graduated from St.Annes in June.It was summer and we were all off...but something that my late father forbid me to talk or write about happened and guess what? I got sick.I had to go to a psychiarist and then..I tried.I tried every anti depressant and such.I really tried...I was on the verge of getting well..but lo and behold...at 19...i had another tragedy and back in the summer of 1967...there was no help available.I couldnt talk about it.I was told not to.I was told to keep it to myself and I tried.But I knew that I was so different and in 1967...i fell in love.He was a very wonderful person.He really was.And he has dreams and goals.He also wanted 6  children and I knew then and now that I could never have children because if my mental illness was heredity like Parkinsons...it would be cruel to pass it on.This is why I never married or had children.In 1967...at age 20...this was a very had decision to say or do..but I had to.I had to lie to him and tell him that there was something else when there wasnt..I had to let the man that I really loved let go...it wouldnt be fair to him back then.There were no medications available.My moods were really sick.They were like the moods of the late great actress Vivien Leigh and I couldnt do this to him or anyone else.But I made a vow at 20...that no matter what has happened,,I will find a cure for this disease whenever it is and even if it took me years ...I would be cured and do the stuff that I love.In 1967...I heard 3 songs that have been part of my all of my life...The first song that I heard was really in 1969...it was written by Paul Anka...he wrote it for Frank Sinatra and guess what? Elvis Presley recorded it! My first song is MY WAY......BUT MY FAVORITE SONG WAS FROM THE BEATLES MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR ALBUM.IT WAS SUNG BY PAUL MCCARTNEY...MY NEXT SONG IS THE FOOL ON THE HILL.AND IN 1967 I got an album from a group that would crack the recording industry apart.It was called THE BEEGEES.AND THE SONG IS PLEASE READ ME.tHE ALBUM IS NO LONGER IN STOCK..BUT IF YOU GET IT..LISTEN TO THIS SONG.THIS SONG HAS GUIDED ME FOR OVER 40 YEARS AND THIS SONG IS WHY i AM WELL TODAY AND I will say with great happiness.I HAVE BEATEN MENTAL ILLNESS...THIS IS PART ONE.