To all

To all here what's left of my heart goes out to each of you. I will not say I understand because I don't. I don't understand life anymore. I will say I do share something with you all that none of us ask for. I became a member of a group of wonderful people that can teach the world what the real meaning to have loved and lost. I can say I know what unbarable pain and lonelyness means. I can't say that it will get better. The only way is if my wife walked through the door. But that's me. Before this I would have said"be strong", and "God's got a plan" and "in due time life will go on". But now I see when you lose the one thing that made you life make sense, worth living, your soulmate, your everything, there is no amount of strength, no plan you can see, and no meaning for life to go on. Your movements are just mechanical, even your thoughts. You feel dead inside. I know there is a God, I know this is an evil world. My only hope is that I will see her soon. My hope for you all is that God will grant you what you need. People say all kinds of stuff about what they think she would want me to do... Well call me selfish but all I want is her. I don't care to do anything without her. I don't plan to. I feel like I'm in the dark. I can hear everyone I just can't see them. I'm alone.