tiring but great day

Had a tiring day but hearing the news that T-Man, my youngest, had a great school orientation experience at the school that looks like he might be attending ~ along with my husband ~ is music to my ears.  And T's attempting to quit smoking!  We bought him the patch - so he is serious about it and is using it.  Hope he can do it! Making positive changes is something he's doing on his own.
What's so heartwarming is his behavior is so much better and he's seems so much happier.  I honestly believe that part of the reason (only part) is because of the changes I've made.  I really believe he needed someone "in charge" and someone to say to him that his behaviors are no longer accepted. No yelling or complaining or threats ~ only boundaries and consequences set quietly.  I know that there are many other reasons but this one I think might have something to do with his change.  
Having said that ~ I know he's still using but his usage doesn't appear to be out of control - at least- nothing I can "see". He plays lots of basketball and he's just plain nice.  He DOES, however, has an underage drinking charge he's looking at.  And he knows we are not paying his court fees.  I believe he might not have enough money to cover them either ~ but that is not our problem.  
Now that this son has been in the best place he's been EVER (even better than he was upon being released from treatment) our other son is doing poorly.  No plans for fall semester - only drinking and more drinking.  His ex-gf has been texting me to tell me that she's arranging an intervention with all of their friends to get him to agree to go to treatment.  All the more power to her.  



Love how lovable they can be. HIs behavior shows that he knows what good behavior looks like. healthy living too. I think especially males at that age still have a lot of ups and down with their mood and self-control. They are supposed to be about 4years behind females developmentally at this age, and of course, the judgment does not mature in either sex till about age 25.
Learning all that lowered my expectations! I don\'t know if there is anything you can do for J; I do hope the ex gets an intervention together. If nothing else, it will change his view of how many lives he is affecting.