Tired....(quick update)

Tomorrow is the BBQ and our friend came into town. I am so exhuasted right now so its been hard keeping my panic and anxious worry in check. It doesn't help that I have not been sleeping so well. I woke up last night and spent about an hour throwing up before going back to sleep for a total of 5.5 hours. Right now I am running on E and just trying to make it until at least 8 or 9pm to go to sleep. I know if I go to bed any earlier I will sleep only 6 hours and be awake before dawn which will make the BBQ and tending to it hell. So, I am holding off.  Husband and our friend went out to eat. Honestly I was just too tired to cook and just didnt want to go out. I crawled onto my bed and just laid there- without sleeping- and that was wonderful! I jumped in the shower and here I am writing this. bleh...just trying to stay awake, make sure I get plenty of liquids...and yeah I should eat something even though my stomach is too flip floppie to do so. (husband said he would bring something home for me) I know tomorrow will be good. I just pray I get all the sleep I need. I am so tired I am almost in tears and my panic is slowly rising. ~sighs~ I wish my Grammie was still alive....she has been in my thoughts all day.  ~Bright Blessings~Love,Rea