Tired and Still Anxious
I have never been normal and I have loved that about me. I have always had to overcome some obstacle and defy some grand odd that has come about. I love to battle stereotypes just because I know someone is judging me. But now I have a battle that has come about much like how my life started, with survival, much like that that battle with a drug addicted mother that I have to fight through to survive! My life began with survival and has come back to that point.
My symptoms exploded on the scene in a matter of a few short weeks and then a cold almost killed me just after my wedding day. This year was suppose to be the great new year for me and my husband, of new things and new starts, lol. We definitely got all that and more I guess. We wanted to establish our new life, we wanted it to be about us starting our life, the whole year was about planning for the wedding, getting him up on his feet, and keeping us moving forward financially. We also wanted to start investing in our future together with some solid investments in our cars, a larger home, and saving for children. Then BAM, MG happens.
The most anxious part is constantly being told so many different things by different doctors, specialists, experts, and so on that it contradictory. Then being younger than most who get the disorder makes it worse because the information is even more estimated. Then to find that job is greatly affected by this condition as a health fitness specialist and I cannot exercise and reduce my anxiety makes it worse. I also now have a healthy fear of the durn hospital after my first ever overnight stay which happened to be for MG for 12 days. I'm sure in the long scheme it was not that bad but my gosh for a social, healthier person it was the worst. Not to mention the moments when things did go wrong. Not the anyone ever wants to have to be in the hospital, lol.
I just am looking for the moment of normalcy to return even if never full strength, to be able to find some exercise regimen, a moderate to higher level of strength, and no more hospital stays or plasma exchange. I want to be in remission and I hope I am also one of the lucky women during pregnancy who goes in remission as well, lol.
My symptoms exploded on the scene in a matter of a few short weeks and then a cold almost killed me just after my wedding day. This year was suppose to be the great new year for me and my husband, of new things and new starts, lol. We definitely got all that and more I guess. We wanted to establish our new life, we wanted it to be about us starting our life, the whole year was about planning for the wedding, getting him up on his feet, and keeping us moving forward financially. We also wanted to start investing in our future together with some solid investments in our cars, a larger home, and saving for children. Then BAM, MG happens.
The most anxious part is constantly being told so many different things by different doctors, specialists, experts, and so on that it contradictory. Then being younger than most who get the disorder makes it worse because the information is even more estimated. Then to find that job is greatly affected by this condition as a health fitness specialist and I cannot exercise and reduce my anxiety makes it worse. I also now have a healthy fear of the durn hospital after my first ever overnight stay which happened to be for MG for 12 days. I'm sure in the long scheme it was not that bad but my gosh for a social, healthier person it was the worst. Not to mention the moments when things did go wrong. Not the anyone ever wants to have to be in the hospital, lol.
I just am looking for the moment of normalcy to return even if never full strength, to be able to find some exercise regimen, a moderate to higher level of strength, and no more hospital stays or plasma exchange. I want to be in remission and I hope I am also one of the lucky women during pregnancy who goes in remission as well, lol.
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