Tired
Hello SOTH's - well I just hate to be such a negative "nellie" right now but I am struggling with breathing, it seems. The situation in our work community has only gotten worse. Parents are picketing the other middle school, against bullying,; parents are upset and so un-trusting; the workplace is so tense;
I feel such emotion now after my Jennifer left this earth - it seems like things are magnified in my heart and I sometimes feel like my heart is bleeding tears for others........geez, this year, this season, is the toughest yet for me....last year I decorated some, looked forward to Christmas as I know my mom and daughter would want me to - BUT this year......don't feel like decorating, shopping or even attempting to be happy.....I know my emotions will change, but today - I'm struggling.
The fires that are happening here in So Cal are devastating and horrible. Jim is scheduling his crew for shifts to cover other fire stations that have been pulled to be @ the fires....His station has a water tender that has to be scheduled as well - So he is high strung anyway and this type of thing gets his adrenalin going and he is like a spinning top that will take off at any given moment. It's hard for me to unwind, de-brief, if you will when I have so much going on around me......
I come here to write........almost my lunch - so tired...........................
Replies
I am so sorry.. everything seems to just pile up, doesn't it? Just get home and curl up with a good book or a lame Hallmark movie. Decorating is really for you, so if you aren't feeling it, just don't bother. I hope everything calms down soon for you and for Jim. Love you Vicki
So understand...having come from a school district myself and was married to someone that was similar in a stressful situation...(((((tight hugs)))))
Got get a massage, pedicure and whatever else helps you. You deserved it. Our resources are very limited this time of year...
Ann
You don't sound like a negative nellie to me....you just sound like a woman stressed to the limit and needing to vent; then hopefully exhale and go get that massage Ann mentioned!!
Tensions are running high no doubt with all that is going on at the school. People want answers, want peace, want safety, and yet sometimes in the midst of trying to achieve those goals, tempers flare, words get said and actions get done and leaves the situation worse than it was to begin with. I surely hope and pray our world as a whole will one day find peace and learn to live in harmony.
I've only seen random information regarding the fires, but OH MY!! Again, stressful situations causing tension and disharmony. Prayers for all involved!
Glad we can come here and share our hearts, and I'm glad you did!
Tight hugs sweet lady and take care of YOU!
Vicki, so much sadness for your school community with the tragic passing of the dear young girl. I always worked in school settings and as a tight group of staff who care about children, a child's passing hit us all hard. Add to that your own broken heart, it's no wonder you are feeling so bad.
May God keep Jim and all who are working to control the catastrophic fires safe from harm.
As far as decorating for Christmas, do only what you feel lead to. My feelings change year to year since Ed passed. Some years I feel the season a bit more and other seasons I do not decorate at all. You need to take care of yourself and I know this year has been challenging for you.
Lots of love to you and dearest Jennifer, Linda
Oh, Vicki, so much going on. No words except for so much understanding and agree with what all the others have said. Take gentle care of that loving heart of yours and prayerful for all that is pulling you in so many different directions.
I remember years ago when I was a school secretary and the teachers went on strike. By contract, secretaries were not allowed to strike and I was called a scab and things were thrown at me crossing the picket line. The work place was so tense and miserable! I lost former friends just filling the role of my job.
Like Linda, my feelings for decorations vary from year to year. It helps that the three of us don’t exchange gifts anymore but just enjoy a meal and the religious implications of the holiday. It takes a lot of stress away. This time of year is tough.
Wishing you a gentle season, dear friend. Sending love...
I am so sorry. I watched the news last evening and saw the devastation caused by the fires. It is hard to comprehend. It is hard to go to work every day when the atmosphere is so tense. As for decorating - I didn't do anything for about 3 years. I tried to be 'up' for my son and granddaughter. Now I can muster up some joy - year old twins can do that.
Just know that you are not alone. The moms here understand and care.
Tight hugs, M
I have been watching the news about the fires. I understand anxiety and stress in this situation. I wish the mountains could send the snow over the fires to help the tired fire fighters. Do not worry about venting here.
Sending big hugs your way
Penny
Hoping you are safe and venting is good for your well being. The black hole beckens and we must try to keep it at bay, I understand., but a hot bath and a glass of wine can help!! Hugs, Kathy