Tird of it all

Im so tired of being a single mom 90% of the time. Dh is always gone for work. ALWAYS. The 2 nights he was hom ethi sweek it was after Ian went to bed. He just left for switzerland today. I have to take care of the baby and find a new house and do all the regular day to day stuff and im over it. I have no helo no support. We have no marriage. Im exhasted and tired when he gets home. I may have 45 minutes to update him on the days events. When he is home i just want to go somewhere any where and have ME time. SO then i dont get to see DH. I hate hate hate it. I cant tell you how many times I have drempt about getting a divorce this week. Its crazy, I mean we dont fight likr crazy he treats me good when is is here, its just everything else. I honestly just want to move back to GA. He can stay here till he transfers. I knwo I cant do that but I just want to cry. This is not the life I want. Not at all. I dont have a husband, im alone all the time. Im getting depressed again and I just got off meds for PPD. The stress of trying to find a house is horrible. The market has actually bankrupted some home owners associations so you cant even get loans on certain houses. Its crazy. I dont know what to do. I have to make all the desicions. Every single one. DO we move closer pay more for less, or live a little further out and get more for our money. do we stay in the smae general area and hope the market picks up out here? I have to make all teh choices so if I pick the wrong one its all on me. Im not sleeping at all the stress is tearing up my tummy. Im down to 125lbs. Its crazy ive lost like 4-5 pounds in a very short period of time. But i still have these ugly fat nasty theighs. I look like a cartoon charecter.