Time to start
OK, Here we go. I have been delaying making entries here but it is time to start now. For the rocord, my marriage has been in crisis for allmost 3 years, in that my wife, who I still love dearly, has turned cold, aloof and at times, outright nasty to me. All the usual red flags have been present throughout this time to varying degrees and I have come to suspect she is seeing somebody else. She denies this. The relationship continues to deteriorate and is now at the point where we are more like two strangers sharing the same house. I am sort of past the outrage but it still hurts like hell and while I have no proof something is or has been going on, I guess, I am living in denial and just accepting whatever crumbs she decides to toss my way. Pathetic hey! Her very obvious contempt for me is only eclipsed by my own. Nevermind, I think I am getting stronger now and have just about come to terms with the fact that it is probably over and have taken steps to protect my interests as well as I can. Now, I am sort of just waiting for the axe to fall. will write more shortly.
Replies
Since you have said that you still love, then my hope is that there will be a change in the situation that will warm your heart, and may that come SOON.
If it is as you suspect, then I am glad you are looking out for number one. Through a variety of mistaken notions, i made my husband the whole center of my world. Know that was wrong, some of it was circumstantial, and it was never deliberate, but mistaken nonetheless. One thinks\' this is my spouse, is it possible to be to attached?\' Answer is Hell yes, but I never suspected.... I thought it was the natural order.So I say to you, whatever emotional distance you can create.... is for the good, however you can guard your heart.... because somehow I could not and cannot, and so 8 months have passed and I STILL can\'t bear the pain of the loss of my family and my future. So I leave it to you that you are proceeding well for yourself, within the best limits of this horrible divorce tradition , with open eyes and cautious heart, and I hope your healing and recovery outpaces mine, because I am so desperately stuck, I think you will do better. We are here for you at DS, and I consider you a special friend so be aware that I am here for ya, if the counsel of a woman as stuck as I am is of use to you....Hoping for your highest good...
G\'day Boyd,
Thank you my friend. Your very kind words and opinions and even advice are very welcome.
My life has been hell for the past 3 years and like you, I made my wife the centre of my world. It seems to me that the worse she treated me, the more I doted on her - go figure.
I think our stories and indeed, those of many others here are very similar. Your story is certainly very similar to mine and I can well relate to your pain.
Somehow, the other party allways seems to make us feel that it is all our fault when deep down, we know that it is not at least, completely our fault.
The counsel of a woman, particularly one such as you is invaluable my dear friend. Likewise, the offer is returned to you.
In many ways, I think men and women are very different species even. I look at my wife now and often wonder \"Who are you exactly?\" \"How does your mind work?\"
While I am trying to distance myself from her emotionally, it is a difficult road. I would love to be in a position where I could inflic the same level of pain on her as she has done to me but I don\'t think she gives a damn. - so I can\'t hurt her.
I consider myself to be an Aplha Male in every sense, yet she, and my love for her combined have reduced me to a simpering little maggot. A mere shadow of the man I once was. proud, confident and fearless.
does that sound bitter to you? it does to me.
Thank you for your thoughts and wishes Boyd. Please know that I am here for you should you ever need to vent or chat.
Love
Mick