Time to Rebuild

When I first heard about my granddad's death I cried, and refused to let anyone see me. I felt so... guilty. Guilty that I wasn't there, that I only had so much time, but was more worried about being at work that next Monday. So many things I wish I could have done, and would have done, if only I had known. It has taken this long period of time for me to wake up finally, and realize he's better now. There is no pain, there is no more diabetic problems, multiple pills to take each day, no more suffering. For that much I am grateful. In my recovery from grief I wrote a poem for/about him, and I wanted to share it with you all.  I Loving Memory of a Man Who can Never be Replaced.    Ralph Heimrich- Husband- Father- Grandfather-AngelWe thought of you todaybut that is nothing new.We thought about you yesterdayand all the days before that too. We think of you in silencewe often speak your name.Now all we have is joyful memoriesand your picture in a frame. Your memory is now our keepsakewith which we'll never part.God now has you in His keepingbut we have you in our Hearts.   -Takes deep breath- Now that I got that part out of the way, maybe I can make this next part a positive chapter in my life. I hope so.  I have decided Not to take the test this Saturday. Here's my reasoning... if they don't want me working for them, I'm not wasting the money on their tests. Bump them. Next, I have finally managed to get my media room more set up. I put up my posters, I put my dreamcatcher back up, it looks nice. I'm proud of it. I was also called today about a prospective job. Im not going to hold my breath, but I'm hopeful.  I'm still feeling my old familiar feelings of depression, and sadness, but I've been trying to  not think on any one thing for too long. Its my strategy for not getting so far into depression, that I have a full blown breakdown. Welp, that's all for now guys. wish me luck, thank you all for your love and support.