time goes by

well it's new years eve already went through one without kelly. time sure goes by fast hard to believe it's been more than a year. chels is fine still attending college actually we are all going to wva tomorrow to visit with my mom should be interesting. nothing has happened yet with my nephews trial he has since gotten married and is just waiting for the wheels to start turning. me i'm as good as i can be since the death of my only son a son so wonderful and amazing that life without him is unbearable but yet somehow i go on. chels is my constant support and the reason i go on.she turned 21 on the 8th of nov. we had a memorial for kelly on the 25 of oct. it went well. i keep in touch with his friends which brings me so much joy. i guess i am tired though tired of answering the question when i have to train new people at work when they ask how many children do you have, tired of alwayswriting paul, carol & chels & then adding  kelly 1987-2007, tired of making things constantly on the computer to memorialize my son's death, tired of hanging out with his friend when i should of never gotten to know them as well as i did because they should be hanging out with kelly, tired of watching mothers with there sons at the mall or out for dinner and feeling my heart ache to do the same, tired of thinking about what life would be like if kelly hadn't of died and very tired of living the life without him yes i am very tired.  wishing all who come across this a new year filled with as much joy and happiness you can muster up without our loved ones.