Time for me
Today I actually took some time for me and slept. I did the things I had to do this morning, but when my son's hab therapist came in the afternoon, I begged my teenager to go with her and my son to the pool so I could just go to bed. I slept for probably 2 hours. It was awesome. Another friend brought my family dinner which was awesome. I realized it brought stress relief for my husband to not have to stress about making dinner when he got home. I just knew on my way home from taking my son to therapy this morning that I was not well because if I did NOT keep completely focused on the road and driving, I was weaving in between lanes, etc. Typically I listen to the radio and can keep up a conversation while I drive without any difficulty. I also was falling asleep while I waited for my son and I have a terrible phobia about being vulnerable in public, so I never fall asleep in cars, planes, busses, etc. Even if I'm at someone's house I cannot simply fall asleep on the sofa unless everyone else in the house is asleep and even then I do not sleep deeply. I'm always on edge.
I have dreams of having energy for FUN time for me. My friend's birthday is on Saturday and I know there is a plan to go play bingo at a casino. I don't know if I can do it, but I may try. I want to find joy where I can.
My little boy is starting to read. He is so smart and I am so proud of him. Tomorrow's his last day of his summer program and I haven't signed him up for swimming lessons. Darn it! I really wanted to get him into lessons and I don't know if I can get a schedule set to get him into at least one session before the end of summer.
I am so grateful to God and His infinite wisdom and love. I don't know how I will get better. I don't know how I will ever be the mom and wife I want to be. I don't know if I will ever be the cookie baking, scrapbooking, knowing all the kids' friends and their parents moms again. I don't know if I will ever want to have sex again. I should say I don't know HOW. I trust in God that I can be healed. I pray that this new chemical cocktail will help.
dea
I have dreams of having energy for FUN time for me. My friend's birthday is on Saturday and I know there is a plan to go play bingo at a casino. I don't know if I can do it, but I may try. I want to find joy where I can.
My little boy is starting to read. He is so smart and I am so proud of him. Tomorrow's his last day of his summer program and I haven't signed him up for swimming lessons. Darn it! I really wanted to get him into lessons and I don't know if I can get a schedule set to get him into at least one session before the end of summer.
I am so grateful to God and His infinite wisdom and love. I don't know how I will get better. I don't know how I will ever be the mom and wife I want to be. I don't know if I will ever be the cookie baking, scrapbooking, knowing all the kids' friends and their parents moms again. I don't know if I will ever want to have sex again. I should say I don't know HOW. I trust in God that I can be healed. I pray that this new chemical cocktail will help.
dea
Replies