Time for myself
I must confess I am tired. My wonderful little angel (my grand-daughter) is sweet, loving, laughs and fills my moments of sadness. I wish I would be taking care of her while retired and not now when I still work full time and have no option to stop. It is pay back time. At least, this is how I feel. My grandparents took care of me since I was 2 years old and I am ok with it. I am just too tired. Not ready for all this and the lack of support, recognition, appreciation of my daughter. She and I simply don't talk at all. I feel it is better this way. At the end of the day, I don't have to deal with her agression, violence and disrespect. Living one day at a time became my moto. I have no control of my tomorrow and because of the baby, I don't even dream of opening the door and running to never come back as I used to. Since the baby is not mine and in this country grandparents have no legal rights at all, I am around until God determines otherwise. I became numb to my own happiness. Pretty much don't care anymore. This is the time I am using when I have 2 minutes for myself: login DS, read my e-mails, respond to my friends and smile, waiting for the responses the next day when I have another moment and time for myself. Until then, my dear friends, know that I am thinking of you.
Replies
Your daughter should be taking care herself & your grand-daughter.
An enabler thinks \"if I don\'t catch her she will fall.\" Maybe falling provides the opportunity to get back up. Maybe falling provides the motivation to stand.
Living one day at a time only helps with things you want to avoid. AA members say \"I won\'t drink today.\" Take back control of your tomorrow.
In this country a court can remove a child from an unfit mother and grant custody to someone better suited to care for the child. Family is often preferred over strangers & Grandparents are court favorites for legal custody.
Giving up on your own happiness leads to no happiness. Pretty simple isn\'t it? Find a way to care again.
Mu grandparents took over the care from my mother because her abuse was so intense that she could have killed me. Since I was raised in Brazil and in the 60\'s there were no such legal concern about this matter, I would have been just part of a statistic and nothing else.
My daughter is bipolar, like my mother is. My daughter is not as severe like my mother was but I will take no risk. Until the court finds her unfit, the baby will have to be in foster care - they would not hand her directly to me. It is what it is. I will not allow such a thing on a 4 month old baby. We will see what happens as she grows up. For now, my daughter is too young, the father is too young, and there isn\'t much that they can do because they don\'t know. I did not take over completely. They are \"splitting\" the care for the baby but I have her most of the days - 5 against 2 in a week. At least for now. Thanks so much for your concern. Yet, I have a feeling that you would have done the same :)
(((((CMondo)))))what a tough situation. My ex\'s sister is bipolar and i have seen how difficult it is for her to hold a job and what kind of things she struggles with firsthand. I am sorry you are working so hard and helping to raise this baby....I see such compassion in this choice....and I pray for you to get some breaks...