Time for myself

I must confess I am tired. My wonderful little angel (my grand-daughter) is sweet, loving, laughs and fills my moments of sadness. I wish I would be taking care of her while retired and not now when I still work full time and have no option to stop.  It is pay back time. At least, this is how I feel. My grandparents took care of me since I was 2 years old and I am ok with it. I am just too tired. Not ready for all this and the lack of support, recognition, appreciation of my daughter. She and I simply don't talk at all. I feel it is better this way. At the end of the day, I don't have to deal with her agression, violence and disrespect.  Living one day at a time became my moto. I have no control of my tomorrow and because of the baby, I don't even dream of opening the door and running to never come back as I used to. Since the baby is not mine and in this country grandparents have no legal rights at all, I am around until God determines otherwise.  I became numb to my own happiness. Pretty much don't care anymore.  This is the time I am using when I have 2 minutes for myself: login DS, read my e-mails, respond to my friends and smile, waiting for the responses the next day when I have another moment and time for myself. Until then, my dear friends, know that I am thinking of you.