Time for a change

In July I did a 8 day detox. It was the worst experience I've had in a long time. I put myself in there because I was exhausted and it got to the point I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. The place I ended up in was miles from my home so no one to visit me nor bring me clean clothes. I went from the hospital straight to the center by a police officer. I wasn't in trouble just a service they offer to addicts. Nice! The staff was very nice, the center was very decent, clean and had good food. But, we were locked out of our rooms from 9:00 am till 5:00pm. The common area was a freezer. I could never get warm and the showers was unbearably hot after a few minutes of use there was no way to adjust the temperature. Time stood still. Like watching paint peel. I have to say I don't regret going it was what I needed to do but I was ever so happy to leave. They recommended me to my local mental health clinic and gave me new medications for me. I lasted about a week out before I relapsed. I couldn't stand the anxiety and I was sleeping all the time till I was slept out. So fuck it, I back on the shit again. My local mental health clinic found out I was dirty, I told the nurse. She was drawing blood so might as well get it out front. Haven't heard back from them. Why should they care about a dirty addict. I'm on my own. Not really. People on this earth might not care but my father who is in heaven cares. I have found something better than my no help meds for my anxiety and it's legal. I'm on my last bit of stuff and with the help of my discovery I have a chance of succeeding this time. What is it you might want to know. I'm not saying in this post. Besides who will read this anyways? Seems like nobody really cares here either but fuck it I like writing my stuff down.