Thursday-may 8th,2008

I decided yesterday not to leave Brad and I just cannot do it.I cannot live on my own right now even if I wanted to.It is expensive to live in seattle now and I refuse to get a roommate.Some of these roommates here turned out to be from Hell and I do not want to go through it again.There are certain people that I do not life and the last one was a real doozy.She was always working out and I do not see why.There is not scientific evidence that all of this exercise and vitamins will help you.SOme of the people who did this here are quite sick.One of my classmates was a bodybuilder who won several contests.Today he has to wear two hearing aids and he may have got arithrisits.There is just no evidence to me about this and why do these people here always talk about illness? If you have got an illness now,please do me a favor and keep it to yourself. I am not in a postion to help you because I do not the funds or education to do so.And I resent all of this so called sharing.Just because you are ill,doesnt mean people will feel sorry for you.I tried to do this with my mother and only got chaos.People today have got real serious problems and because of funding.there is not a lot of services available.I am trying to get over the death of my brother.And I just found out that he had an affair and had this idiot over here.I know when he did this..he was drunk.but I just hope that he takes an Aids test ..he picked her up in a bar.A lot of these people in seattle are lonely and they think that can latch on to someone.This is just not so.I am on a budget.The food here is expensive.I spend 100.00 last week and it is only Brad and me.I found out the name of several food banks and just got food from there.Brad happens to like his bread and that too is going for 3.00 here.I got several loaves of bread and they are in the freezer.And I refuse to go to my reunion.I cannot afford it.I will go to the 50th one.Thats the being one and I found out that life is for the living and I am planning the whole month of May.I refuse to spend a lot of money on food because I cannot afford it,but all of the shows that are coming here are free.Frank always knew how to save and he showed me this.And I will never stop missing him regardless of what people have told me.My brother tried to keep the house because he knew that my mother left it to me.Frank was going to retire in Florida but Bubba did not make it.I will always miss this person and he was the best brother that I had.He just was.And regardless what that Billy Graham said-time does not heal all wounds.You see.it gets worse.And Billy Graham does not know what he is talking about.Please do me a favor.Do not mention religion to me.I am a 1950s catholic school education and it was the best thing that my parents have done.Please do not discuss politics or religion with me.Thank you.Why? Because I have got different opinions and these subjects are just sore with me.Thank a lot.Peace.