Thursday-May 15th,2008-He came home late.

i t looks like we are going to split and I could not be happier.I am going into a great deal of debt with this house and the bills are getting grand.I have to pay the energy at least 300.00.I do not have it..but when I get my rebate I will send them at least 100.00.I am going to go to a baseball with it and the rest I am saving for a much needed vacation and I do not know where.I have been very very unhappy and this is because everyone that I used to know here has left.I have got nobody to talk to and I feel so lonely.I feel just like Kurt Cobain and I feel alientate.I feel the rage of these Goths and I feel the rage of these high school children who take guns to school.But in all my life I have done anything violent and never will.Nor do I destroy other peoples property.Destroying a room is just horrid to me and it is childish.I miss my brother Frank and there is just noone here that I can talk to.I have got a lot of debt now and I cannot afford certain things.I have got bills that I have to pay off and i just do not have the money to go to therapy.All I can say is this..Kurt Cobain was right.A great deal of people here are so full of it.I have met a great deal of them..but since she took that real estate course,well she has changed and now everything is money,money ,money and the real estate agents here are suffering.There is noone that I know that are buying houses here.I cannot afford a house.The salaries here are well there is a big discrepancy..without college here all you can earn in about 25,000 and that isnt a lot of money here at all.In fact,some of these people are starving.I got very ill and I could not take the college life.I got ill and  I knew it.This was during the 1970s and there was no help available and i felt my illnesses. now ...life is for the living and i am doing the things that I missed out on,but after my father died...my mother started to act cuckoo and I had no help.Frank came home from a good paying job in Florida..He wanted to retire there..but it wasnt meant to me.He just got so ill and I did care for him..but he knew that I did all I could.And remember this all of you who are brothers...there willn come a time in your life when you will be called upon to help in the house and you must realize this..Us sisters have got a right to our lives and we just cannot take care of this and that one.I couldnt and I told this to Social Security.And they asked my other brother instead.I am crying now for I miss Frank and I always will and I have got no Yankee fans to talk to.Noone here likes The Yankees.