Thursday, February 28, 2008
Here is an interesting update for you. I talked to my supervisor about what happened yesterday at the training, and he called it a "minor concern," which is a good way of looking at it. He and I both agreed that the lady who came up with that exercise in regards to my actions could have been completely avoided. I did learn that the next time for me is to not "test my limits," at work, and he's right. We both also felt that the lady made what I did a lot bigger than what it was. I love my supervisor he is awesome, and I love my job a lot. I have so much fun. This weekend I am going to a Christian concert, which will help me de-stress. I asked him what to do when it comes to stress, and he in turn asked me what I do. He and I were both pleased with the responses we gave, and in turn I felt like I had accomplished something as well as got advice from someone who is more experienced than me to help me out. I learned a lot. I feel fine about things, but came to realize yesterday that a fellow co-worker has been actually helping me with my personal space issue. He will test me every now and then so that I can overcome it, which I greatly appreciate it. I also like how he points out to me my progress in it as well. I am very thankful. I know that I will overcome my fears, but it will all be in God's timing. I remember from the Woman's World Conference what a workshop leader said that was very insightful. She said, "Do not let fear and anger control you, it will destroy you." She is right, and that what I am working on more than ever, so I that I can fully function without it coming out at work or any other location. Have a great weekend ahead.
Replies
I am very proud of you for keeping this particular situation contained. Often times a situation is usually the other persons problem, and you know that by what your soul is telling you. Remember, to let the negative bounce right back into the atmosphere. Better yet, smile at the person who gave you such a problem, and you will feel awesome!
You talked about facing fears, I want to tell you a little story. As a child I was easy prey for the bad kids to pick on. I was beat up on, and teased ruthlessly. After high school I was relieved, but the nightmares started. I spent 20 years dealing with my classmates chasing me down and hurting me in these dreams. I got word last summer that it was our reunion. Just like facing my rapist (ex-husband) in court, I decided that this was prime time to face my bullies, and I did just that. I took my family and a friend who went with me to high school for support. I faced them, I had nothing to say to them, it was the point of being in the same space with them that cemented my accomplishment. My little girl inside was screaming \"get me out of here!\" We were there for 3 hours and decided to leave. Just as everyone else had gotten in the car, (I was potting my dog) Tony, the bully came over to talk with me. My whole body was going nuts, it\'s amazing how the brain works. I stood my ground, listening and talking some with him, I said good bye and went to get into the car. It really helped having my dog there as a bit of a distraction for me, but when I got into the car everyone of my walls were up, the kids were talking to me, but I couldn\'t hear them. I drove off to where it was safe and just sobbed. My friend and family was great support, but what was better than that the nightmares stopped! It is taking the courage with in and face the fear because the fear is in us not them, and if we don\'t throw it in the garbage can it will eat us alive.
David Richo writes from Shadow Dance We are often afraid of our own reality. Every time we disown, discredit, and run from what we really are, our life becomes fear based (Richo, p.24-25). I was reading my books for school and this made me think of you.