Thursday, February 25, 2010

Completed my assignments. 
 New friends: Cathy from DS and Patty from high school (haven't seen her in 37 years so she counts as new).
New hobby:  joining my town's reserve police force (God help me and them!) and signed up to work on a political campaign.  Don't even know the judge that's running but a friend says she's great and it's something new.
Do I feel better yet?  Nope.  Keep putting myself out there, giving it the old college try but it's really work. 
Joined match.com and had 2 meet and greets and 1 phone meet.  Phone meet was so boring I had to get up off the bed to keep from falling asleep.  First meet and greet was a disappointment; second was nice but he was a cosmetic dentist with a nail thing going on.  Learned more about Olympic pin collecting and swapping than any human being should ever know.  Found a fellow Jimmy Buffett fan but he's 2 hours away -- but we're going to be e-mail buddies off match.com.  It's depressing how many people, both men and women are out there searching.
On the good side, I've found a home.  I've been living in "our" house (he moved out) and I have until October to find something but thought I would start now.  It's a townhouse and so absolutely perfect I can't stand it.  Realtor is putting together an offer while I review the prospectus (homeowner's assocation rules and such).  Scary, but not as scary as buying a house.  All outdoor items and services are taken care of.  Just have to close the door and leave.  I think it will be important for me to get out of this house.  I feel like I'm in limbo.
I still wake up anxious every single morning.  It just won't go away.  I hope this is not my new normal because I don't like it at all.  I'm 6 months into this and although I've progressed, I'm nowhere near being healed.