Thursday
Everything is slow at the office today. Someone is here removing the old film from the window and I am pretty sure I am high on the adhesive fumes. I had to move back to my office but that didn't help. Things have calmed down here for the moment. Tensions are no longer high. I will say that yesterday morning I had a meltdown at home. Roomie was trying to be supportive and I felt bad when I left the house. I think the new meds I'm on are making me paranoid, anxious and irritable. I'm suppose to go back in a few weeks and the doctor told me I needed to take them for a good month so, instead of throwing in the towel, I will abide by her rules no matter whether the anxiety bothers me.
I did receive a text early yesterday morning from my friend that had ghosted me over Thanksgiving. He told me he had been out to a Christmas party at the local bar and was thinking of me-I believe he was probably drunk given the time he texted. This problem is what keeps me from getting close to him-the handful of times I've gone to his house he has been drunk or drinking. Me having a potential problem with drinking myself-try and stay away from this. Makes it hard to be a friend. I did not respond to him. I want him to know that ghosting isn't funny and quite frankly I'm just tired of the back and forth between he and I. Ive made a decision about 2020-trying not to stay connected to people who don't seem to give me the time of day-not to waste any more energy in chasing their friendship. Time to conserve. Yesterday I was in such a crappola mood-that I was thinking seriously about camping Christmas eve and Christmas Day solo. Bahh-humbug.
Replies
I really think you need to call doctor and tell her how they make you feel, asap. Those are side affects that need to be reported. I know people who have committed suicide from those kind of side affects!
Awww....get in the Christmas spirit and treat yourself to something that makes you happy! You will be glad you did. Hugs
You are getting paid to get high? ? ? Where do I sign up? ? ? Seriously, I've been paid to get that particular high often enough that I am thoroughly amazed that people will PAY to get that high. I didn't get paid anywhere near enough for the privilege.
An alcohol allergy keeps drinking off my problem list, but I have a serious problem with drunks. I get more nervous than I can say around people who always have a drink in their hand. To my broken brain, that is an important detail to keep on your radar. Not an automatic disqualifier, but an important detail, indeed.
You're talking my kind of christmas, Sage. You'll have the park all to yourself and might even catch a squirrel or two. Ho ho ha! ! ! I've loved every one of my wilderness christmases.
I called my Dr and left a message-will probably get a call from nurse practitioner. I like the idea that it makes me so irritable I don't put up with things that upset me-but on the flip side, it makes me so anxious that I wake up twice a night and can't focus at work. And the paranoia---i was asking my boss the last two days at work if everything was ok with her.....
Good! I am happy to hear that. Prescribing anti depressant medication is not an exact science. Doctors will often try different ones at different doses to see what works and what doesn't.